stitchy

i have absolutely no idea how i am going to make it through this week. absolutely no idea. i have absolutely no idea how someone i love is going to make it through this week, or made it through last week for that matter. i've been drinking jasmine tea like it's diet dew & hugging on tuber like there's gonna be no tomorrow. i guess that's a start.

p.s. thank you datsun and everyone that stopped by to give me encouragement today! i was so shocked to see i had 24 comments upon my arrival home! i have never really had to deal with death before, tears come when you least expect it, and especially when you think you've got it all put together. like tonight @ macy's. christ, i think i had 24 sales associates hugging me. but really, i think they were just trying to get my running snot away from the $200 Trina Turk tops. Which were cute, by the way, just not funeral material.

i dunno. tomorrow is the wake, weds. is the funeral. i am trying to find this picture of my ex's mom and 102. she treated 102 like a granddaughter, let me tell you. and she was sooooooo not a dog person. but 102 could sleep on her $5K couch, no problemo!

it's hard losing someone soooo special. i feel sorrow and i feel joy, remembering all of the wonderful memories in hawai'i and gardening in sonoma and party planning and cooking! and both loving her son! ♥ she would have been an awesome mum in law. absolutely awesome!

here is stella and her husband in hawai'i: sorry, for the quality, it was a sticker photo!!


i really don't think i have admired anyone as much as her.

she was young. 57. she was a licensed interior decorator, but worked for years and years as a director of special events, producing gala events that raised millions and millions of dollars for san francisco. she was about style. she was about getting what you want. she was about living every day as it was your last. only the best. she was my fucking idol. martha stewarts got nothing on her. when i threw our housewarming party, and she complemented me on the funiture and rugs, etc. i was on fucking cloud 9. It's not everyday that woman gave compliments, and when she did? She meant them, and they meant something!!

And! she raised two awesome amazing sons, both of which have super bigwig music gigs. And! since she had no girls?! for 5 years I was treated as the daughter she never had. How awesome is that?! It was fucking awesome! Rest in peace, my beautiful beautiful wonderful Stella. I love you. I love you. I will love you forever. ♥
I know she is redecorating heaven right now, rearranging flowers up there, and it smells like Chanel No. 5. ♥


p.s.s. happy bday coco! she is such an awesomely inspirational friend... and if you really wanna freak out my friend ben, you can go say hippydpay to him. i have several pics of him in my folders but he has sg social anxiety disorder. yup. but say hi. couldn't hurt.