stitches_u_up

So here i am for my monthly update.

seems like i only come here when i am stuck in the house with nothing worth while to do. Lol damn internet. I bet there is something else i could do, if only i could figure it out. guess i am just not really in that up-beat yeah lets do whatever ind of mood.

Maybe i should just write a bunch of random depressing stuff. yeah, i think ill go emo on yall for a moment. for those who are nauseated easily..here is your chance to look away.

Shadows flicker while a cold wind dances across the empty path that stretches out infront of me. My foot falls on dead ground raped of life and substance, the sound fading into the opressive density of the night. Listless souls slip across the horizon searching for stillness and peace. While i wander through the undead world unnatural lights struggle to create bubbles of ilumination in the shadow that has fallen upon the city. The Air itself steals moisture from my breath asif it would leech the substance of my aching humanity away to feed itself a glimmer of hope. All the while I watch the windows around me, they spark to life at times like a poorly tuned tv. Brief glimpses of trapped beings flash across my eyes and i wonder if they are wrapped in solitude. I stop for a moment at the edge of shadow and light and ponder the questions of connection. Like the lamp posts that stretch across the world are we just trying to fight the gloom of darkness that is existence? When we reach out to another person are we really bonding, or are we merely trying to avoid thinking about how we are trapped inside one body, isolated and alone, never really connecting, just communicating back and forth like lights flashing to and fro in the pitch black. How can we ever truely communicate the substance of our being. What is this closeness that so many speak of, is it really contact, or is it just self delusion to keep us from going insane within our enrapping shells. And the feelings inside that wax and wane like a torrent of waves. Do any words that we might utter really conver what we truely feel? And if we could really express and let others know would we want to. or would it be like the cursing of faust, where knowing would lead to an overwhelming of the mind. I wish the sun were out, atleast then i could look about and think yeah, its all glowing and bright.

Anyways i dont know where i am going with this. Just some stream of conciousness crap. i watched the movie Kinsey, and it was really depressing. We are all so fucked up, confused, and lost i think. And even as we learn about ourselves and the world we live in, there are so many people who are perpetuating psychological disease i begin to wonder if we will ever evolve into healthy creatures. It seems that we just need to free ourselves of lies, fear, shame, and guilt, than we could start to be more at peace and happpier.

for all of you who are still reading, sorry for the melancholly crap.

Ona brighter note, Go Seattle Seahawks.