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stinkerbell

Vista, CA

Member Since 2005

Followers 2 Following 7

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Tuesday Sep 12, 2006

Sep 11, 2006
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So yesterday, marked not only the events of September 11, but also the 5 year anniversary of the start of a new life for me. (Irish and I will be together for 5 years in December) It was after those events that I started to take control of things in my out of control life.

So, I see it not only as a day of mourning but a day of rebirth. It seems in my life that major changes start around this date as well. Maybe I take the time on 9/11 to look deep inside me. Maybe it is because fate has a way of either bringing new adventures into my life at this time or making clear the sometime murky world around me. Either or - I feel big changes are a brew in this life - and I am ready to embrace them.

So why all the song lyrics as of late, trying to get lost in music while I go on my journey of self reflection. My sister in law has made it through having a breast removed from cancer and so far things look good. I have spent some of the time thinking of her life. She, note my brother loves her, is not a nice person. Could this be karma?

I have considered if I should keep SG as just my thinking place or if I should journal here and share. I mean I have other sites where I can journal, even have a notebook for the stuff I dont feel comfortable putting on the net. So, do I keep my membership to look at the nakie girls and read amazing journals or do I move on and leave this at a footnote. I think I will keep it. It is a good thinking place.

I met this friend of a friend and she and I were talking and got in this intense talk about life. She asked me in life would you rather be a rock or would you rather be clay. I honestly feel there is no right answer to this question. So, I told her I would be rock solid on my beliefs and like clay to constantly change to new lifes lessons. She said the only problem with being clay is that there are people in the world who would like to mold you and when they dont like what the see, the just toss you aside. How perfound and sadly in my past so very true. She said, you need to be able to adapt like clay but in the end you need to be a rock. If for nothing else your sanity. Such a wise woman... she told me to read the Dylan Thomas poem. I posted.

I kept thinking, I need to learn to fight for who I am and what I believe in. I spent all my life trying to please others and I think at times, this has been my down fall... but now, I am making choices for me. Selfish - yes but about time

Speaking of time.... late for work.

Buffy
kriss:
Glad you have the man, he is truely in love with you.

Your friend sounds wise, and the idea that you have to fight for who you are, well you know me.... I sound like pop eye... I yam what I yam, but I am.
Here is my two cents worth, if you want it.... Life is short live it to the fullest. But remember karma comes back to bite you on the ass, so watch where you step.

KRISSwink
Sep 12, 2006

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