stingray

TODAY I FELT LIKE EXPRESSING THIS:
So hard its become to my heart to let go from the past, and i dont mean just the past as my experiences, but as a whole...my goodness...you have no idea how much i miss being my grandmas girl...and keep calm and comfortable home safe from everything and everyone and happy that i was theirs and they were mine....now it seems my sking got old, my age shows it and my thoughts have become so humanly stattic even though I TRY as hard as i can not to lose my essence its so hard and the world has got so many cold corners to contain us in every day that at some point we forget who we were in thw first place. yes, everything is in movement...nothing is quiet and static but sometimes all that rush kills me...all i want sometimes is to say FUCK YOU TO THE WHOLE WORLD!
i want to be clear in the sense that i am not resented to the world but instead im complaining because we FORGET...we forget so much and move on so fast that no good feelings get to be really printed in our hearts out of some day to day experiences...
i can only thank god and myself that i do...but i really suffer when i see others that dont and who are close to me and i normally say to myself "you have no idea how much time youre wasting right now"
my goodness...maybe it is for all of this that i feel so old...i feel it in my heart in spite of all the many yers that the biological matter should save for me
ive come to realize that i do not want to die knowing i wasted all this precious air doing nothing but producing stupid ideas and thoughts in my head and share them with the world for a worthless reason...
right now im listening to one of those bands from like ten years ago that still causes me the same chill down my spine...