stinab

My ER Experience!


So I had to go to the ER last night because I had this vein in my leg that was HUGE and my leg was all swollen and red and Im thinking...blood clot Im gonna die right?
So turned out I wasnt being dramatic (for once) and it actually could have been a blood clot. So this guy who looks like Andy Kaufman smelling of Old spice calls me back to get an ultrasound of my leg.
He tells me to take my pants off and put this drape over me and he'd be right back.
So I disrobe down to my undies and put this thing over me.
He comes back and tells me he has to check my vein from my groin area down to my ankle and then proceeds to Take the drape and with HIS FINGERS tucks one side WELL into my panties and slops the warm goo on and starts ultrasounding away right? So then SOMEHOW the sheet comes out of my underwear and so Once Again molests me and stuffs it back in. At this point Im pondering:

Whats with the false fucking modesty bub if youre just gonna keep fishin around in my skivies? but I digress...

So he DOES IT AGAIN... and at this point I YELL:

"OKAY...why dont we just take this thing off!" and I fling the sheet off and onto the floor.
To which he just replies "so sorry, so sorry."

And I say "Really? cuz you should be saying thank you!"

meanwhile my boyfriend is in the corner sitting in a chair and giggling...god love him...he knows this girl can take care of herself!

So I am fine! and it's just superficial phlebitis which is a fancy way of saying: We don't know what the fuck it is, here take some pills.