stina

tattoo work here

Grumpy... grumpy ....still grumpy.

Sometimes you think you know black and white. You think you have the facts. You know the events, you know your life, you know your heart, you know your friends.
Sometimes you realize you don't know anything. Its a very humbling and sad realization. Sometimes you glide through life not noticing the things that matter until in retrospect.. and by then... maybe the damage is done. Maybe you're already changed. Maybe your environment has changed and it was so subtle in some instances that it camouflaged the things that could tear your world apart. Or maybe.. you were so busy being an escapist.. that you didn't realize your life was passing you by and changing without you.
Whatever it was... things are different.. and people aren't who you thought they were. Can you still trust them?

Have I ever mentioned that I hate the internet? ha.. seriously..
It has some wonderful uses. Freedoms of speech, unlimited reference photos for art... the opportunity to educate yourself in millions of fields that might otherwise have been off limits. But mostly.. its so tacky. It makes me really... sad. To see 14 year old girls on myspace lying about their age.. posting sexy pictures to attract attention. And I guess you could call me a hypocrite. But the difference.. is that I'm not trying to attract anyone. I actually have considered quitting SG because of the attention. I like being a part of a women based community. But at the same time.. I'm here for fun. I'm here to express myself, show off tattoos, connect outer beauty with my thoughts in a journal, make friends with other confident and amazing women....
not... to try and get attention because I feel inadequate. I think SG, and showing your body off is great for some self confidence.. but in all reality.. You should have some confidence from being the person you are.. before being a sex object. Anyway...
So.. the internet. I hate that everyone is so connected that its impossible to not see what everyone is doing.. see whats going on. Read their journals and comments. Its everywhere, its in your face. Its all public. And sometimes you see people behaving in ways you never expected to see... you see your 13 year old niece posing sexy and claiming to be 18.. you see your friends acting sleazy and leaving sexual comments on people's pages.. and you see some personal stuff that you'd probably rather not see.
Arguments among friends, arguments among lovers.. fights between your friends and your lovers hhaha.. you see your mom leaving gross love notes to her boyfriend, you see ugly dudes leaving love notes to your sisters. Its all out in the open.

I'm too old fashioned I think. I write letters and draw on the envelopes.. I mail them to my friends.