stillifegaijin

what the fuck happened to heather? how can someone with a lifetime membership not be active? i'm starting to doubt this place.

so my new job invlolves doing touch-ups on headshots in photoshop. i see this site differently now...i see faces differently now. is anything or anyone real anymore?

i look at the lines on B's face and i think that i would never erase them...ever. i love that she looks human.

stop erasing who you are.

fucking happiness...fucking happiness...fucking happiness.
have you ever woken up and realized that there is NOTHING wrong?

i know this isn't what people want to hear around here but it happens. i'm sure that soon something will fall apart and that i will be that sad boy again. but right now, i live in the most amazing house i have ever lived in...in los angeles...i have...
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yeah. so i'm back from portland. what a depressing place...but i have brought back the GL3 with me. the gang is growing. we're going to kick your ass.

i quit postal works so you cats are gonna have to hope for the best with getting your SG mail.

i'm still in love and it's making THEasdassa fucking sick.

have i ever seen anything as beautiful as her in the morning?

it's time to change. it's time to get brave. say goodbye to the job. say hello to freelance. bust my ass to pay the bills but do it my way. i'm not sure that this is a workable plan but i'm gonna try it. she makes me stronger. she makes me hate all the ropes and traps even more. the nausea seems stronger in contrast...
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i worry. i have no reason. i know that everything is fine and that it will only get better but still i doubt. i think that she has too much going on and i will get in the way. i need to learn to distance myself without falling out. trust. trust seems to be the key. trust myself? trust her. trust that we are in...
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a 28 hour date.
a confession.
a parking space.
a key.
a future.
who knew?

love makes me stupid...

i don't get it...i don't get it...i don't get it...

now is the time after i call and leave a message but before she calls back. the moment where i tell myself that she has NEVER not called back and that i should relax but my stomach goes in knots. this is the time when i am insecure. when i need the phone to ring as proof. ...it always startles me when it does ring....
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