stillifegaijin

i worry. i have no reason. i know that everything is fine and that it will only get better but still i doubt. i think that she has too much going on and i will get in the way. i need to learn to distance myself without falling out. trust. trust seems to be the key. trust myself? trust her. trust that we are in love. that the silly laughs are good even if i can't see the eyes through the phone. she says so few words. so, everything is easier in person. i have learned to read her eyes and body and kisses but over the phone it's only words and too few. she doesn't open up until our eyes meet. i miss the loft. i wish we could hide there forever. at least until we grew so attached that parting would tear our hearts to shreds.

i know that i have nothing to worry about. just too much time on my hands. too much thought in this head. too much space in my bed. too much love...