cherry coloured funk...it's sort of beautiful to be as sad as i am. a friend says, "you are so lucky that you are capable of loving as much as you do"...am i? lucky that i am capable of being destroyed by my love. yes...to know the greatest heights is to be able to plunge to the lowest depths. i live in LA and i can't... Read More
It sucks. I want to go out but can't leave the house. My grandpa went into the hospital this weekend and I have to take care of him at nights. A caretaker is here during the day though. Me being the martyr is getting old fast.
i'm home and i will not be leaving LA for a long, long time...why would you want to go anywhere else?? except maybe on a road trip out I-10 to check out those amazing mountains i flew over on the way back.
Hi. You haven't updated for awhile. I have been wondering about you. Is allegra gellar your band? I love it. The chorus is cool and somewhat positive, but disturbing at the same time. Kind of like a negative compliment.
Who is the girl you talked about in your journal, the one you spent time with on Halloween? Am I being too nosey?
so i'm back to living out other peoples songs. i try to break away and have issues of my own. striving for an original emotional handicap but it just isn't out there...
i'm cold. i smile and i make the right moves but it's hollow and empty...i lost my lover to the sea...i replaced her but it will never be the same to me again.
Who's birthday will it be??? Do you celebrate Dia De Los Muertos? They have a cool festival at self help graphics in East L.A. every year. They have a procession in the early evening and then food and art and vendors at night. Lots of people wear masks and dress like Frida and stuff. fun. fun. fun. Don't stress out. Halloween is just another day.
Have you read any Hermann Hesse? Right now I am reading Demian. It is pretty good. My friend lent it to me 10 years ago and I am barely now reading it. Hesse also wrote Sidhartha and Steppenwolf. I have read Sidhartha (in college english) but not Steppenwolf yet.
people spend a lot of time making it hard to connect themselves to anything. bouncing around in limbo and crying ourselves to sleep.
she doesn't want to go to london without me but she couldn't come to LA with me...??...
the awkward gestures of interest are what causes the other one to find herself accidentally on "dates" with people she thought were friends...... Read More
I probably wouldn't have chose Mystic River myself, my mom usually picks them (she is paying afterall), but I really liked it. There isn't a boring part in the whole thing. I really wanted to see the new Sophia Coppola flic, lost in translation (they weren't showing it in LaHabra) or School of Rock (but amazingly enough my mom already saw that one).
Are you on Friendster? I don't really understand it. I guess you got to really put yourself out there to make new friends. So far I am just sending messages to my already friends. Talk to you soon.
morning...my new morning plan. wake up early (9am) and work on the record before work.
i used to not be capable of getting up early. i would get nauseus and depressed and need to go back to sleep. now i seem to feel best in the morning...something about the LA morning?? something about getting old??
now i just hope i don't get up and sink... Read More
I did the opposite and went for the SG marathon. I got so tired (or lazy) I started leaving comments for myself by mistake. I even got caught. Monday, ugh. I am ditching school to go to the movies with my mom though so it is not so bad. Have a swell day! f&z.
i do feel the urge to leave portland....
but i can't justify it without a set job there
(ie., working for a national recognized leader of entertainment in Portland, well paid, able to make short films and music videos on the side while building an impressive reel.... VS.... leaving security aside, joining the ranks with 100s of other people doing the same thing I'm doing but better, having to get a shit ass job, and being broke).
THE ANSWER?
I think my work is done in Portland when I have an amazing fucking reel. And it might not take much longer.
I'm not sure.
I'm not sure about a lot of things.
I'm ready for massive success...but am I willing to pay my dues?
and...to all of you LA folks who just want to bitch about LA...i have to say, "move your ass away". why stay somewhere you hate? go away and leave the rest of us more air to breath and space to move. adios.
also, people who judge music based on wether it is... Read More
Hi, I got the email to add you as a friend but when I clicked on the link it took me to explorer (instead of safari) and I couldn't get on to the site. I will add you as a friend from my page. Talk to you soon.