Random NYC Observations and Questions
Episode II: Electric Boogaloo
**This is a very "New York" Post, so if you haven't been to NYC and don't get the "oh so clever" in-jokes, I apologize. But, seriously, why haven't you even BEEN here??? Ridiculous...
1. Why is it that with all of the things I could be buying for my house, for my future, investing, charities, WHY do I need a Video iPod? cause I really, REALLY need one...
2. Why do people in this day and age still try to hand out things on the streets of NYC? Cause we WILL not take your Menu, or Yoga details, or 10% off furniture coupons. But if you don't get out of my way, I very well might kill you.
3. Why are people who collect money on the streets for "Sally Needs a Home" or whatnot, why are they always surprised when you won't give them your credit card info on some sheet they have with them for a donation??!! Seriously, it's nice what you're doing and all, but they need to hire people who aren't so fucking retarded. Ask for cash donations. If someone doesn't have one, maybe ask for a check. But it ends there. Don't ask them for a credit card payment, a wire transfer, a Pinata filled with Pesos...Just don't do it. Stop. And walk away. Before I kick you in the nuts.
4. If you go see "The Shaggy Dog" and it's not part of "Awful movie day," you are dead to me. Seriously. Dead to me.
5. Why is it that people sneer and move away from a homeless person on the subway but cheer and "holla" for those crazy kids who jump and spin and roll on down the car towards you? Seriously, they are MUCH more annoying than anything on the subway. One: it's the same steps as the guy I saw on the C train. Learn some new moves. And Two: you just rolled over my foot, and now you want me to give you money for being slightly better than shitty? Move on, son, to the next car.
6. Because you found a guitar, a mic, and an almost dead speaker in the trash and you "fairly" resemble a guy trying to resemble a Jimmy Hendrix impersonator, it doesn't give you the right to play anything on the car while I'm trying to read over someone's shoulder, eat my bagel, or sleep. "No more, no cry..." And this goes for the "Blind" guy in Queens too. You have an accordian. Great. And you seem to be blind, but move extremely well throughout each and ever car. By the way, it's the same damn Polka song every time. Even if it's a different song, it's not. They're all the same.
7. How 'bout the guys who are usually around Times Square or the Upper West Side and stops you with, "Hey, do you like Comedy...?"
8. And finally...stop with the "BlueTooth's" on the street. You look like a prick. You sound like a prick. Chances are, you're a prick.
I have spoken.
Hey, has everyone seen Alexsandria's smokin' new set??? Well, if you haven't GO NOW!
Arrrghhhh
Episode II: Electric Boogaloo
**This is a very "New York" Post, so if you haven't been to NYC and don't get the "oh so clever" in-jokes, I apologize. But, seriously, why haven't you even BEEN here??? Ridiculous...
1. Why is it that with all of the things I could be buying for my house, for my future, investing, charities, WHY do I need a Video iPod? cause I really, REALLY need one...
2. Why do people in this day and age still try to hand out things on the streets of NYC? Cause we WILL not take your Menu, or Yoga details, or 10% off furniture coupons. But if you don't get out of my way, I very well might kill you.
3. Why are people who collect money on the streets for "Sally Needs a Home" or whatnot, why are they always surprised when you won't give them your credit card info on some sheet they have with them for a donation??!! Seriously, it's nice what you're doing and all, but they need to hire people who aren't so fucking retarded. Ask for cash donations. If someone doesn't have one, maybe ask for a check. But it ends there. Don't ask them for a credit card payment, a wire transfer, a Pinata filled with Pesos...Just don't do it. Stop. And walk away. Before I kick you in the nuts.
4. If you go see "The Shaggy Dog" and it's not part of "Awful movie day," you are dead to me. Seriously. Dead to me.
5. Why is it that people sneer and move away from a homeless person on the subway but cheer and "holla" for those crazy kids who jump and spin and roll on down the car towards you? Seriously, they are MUCH more annoying than anything on the subway. One: it's the same steps as the guy I saw on the C train. Learn some new moves. And Two: you just rolled over my foot, and now you want me to give you money for being slightly better than shitty? Move on, son, to the next car.
6. Because you found a guitar, a mic, and an almost dead speaker in the trash and you "fairly" resemble a guy trying to resemble a Jimmy Hendrix impersonator, it doesn't give you the right to play anything on the car while I'm trying to read over someone's shoulder, eat my bagel, or sleep. "No more, no cry..." And this goes for the "Blind" guy in Queens too. You have an accordian. Great. And you seem to be blind, but move extremely well throughout each and ever car. By the way, it's the same damn Polka song every time. Even if it's a different song, it's not. They're all the same.
7. How 'bout the guys who are usually around Times Square or the Upper West Side and stops you with, "Hey, do you like Comedy...?"
8. And finally...stop with the "BlueTooth's" on the street. You look like a prick. You sound like a prick. Chances are, you're a prick.
I have spoken.
Hey, has everyone seen Alexsandria's smokin' new set??? Well, if you haven't GO NOW!
Arrrghhhh
I like Alexsandria's set, in large part because of the presence of Fatality
Whenever someone tries to hand me a flyer on the street, it's like they're saying "Here, YOU throw this away."
-- Mitch Hedberg, RIP