25(4) THINGS YOU NEVER KNEW ABOUT ME... (and, well, didn't probably care to know, but, hey...I'm up, you're up, so let's get funky with a Survey...)
1. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
I don't have a room for a closet in the small cardboard box I live in on the streets in Time Square. But I do have a lovely view.
2. Do you ever steal the shampoos and soaps from hotel rooms?
No, I'd rather steal it from friends houses. They're usually bigger there.
3. Have you ever 'done it' in a hotel room before?
You mean like...."Done it, done it?" Done it, right...? Yeah, oh, yeah...all the time...Mmmm, Hmmm....wait, what are we talking about?
4. Have you ever stolen a street sign before?
Like "Stole it, stole it?" Stole it, right...? Yeah, oh, yeah....all the time...
5. Do you like to use post-it notes?
I used to write all my term papers and essays on them. When the assignment was to only write 500 pages, I turned in 5,000! Beat that smart kid in the front row! IN YOUR FACE!!!
6. Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?
I try to use the Dominos coupons at other establishments and pretend I don't speak english.
7. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a big swarm of bees?
Wow, with such great choices, how can one decide? I'd rather be attacked by a whore. A crazy demented whore. Cause then at least it would be kinda funny.
8. Don't you hate it when people have sex with their socks on?
No, what really bugs me is when people have sex with my girlfriend. THAT'S what bugs me!
9. Do you always smile for pictures?
I like to make a lot of random, odd faces in pictures, sometimes smile, and sometimes look like I'm about to poop.
10. What is your biggest pet peeve?
When I give the "poop face" and I actually poop. Hmm, maybe that's not a pet peeve, just embarrasing...
11. Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?
I usually tuck the sheets in my pants and then go to sleep. It's not comfortable in any way, but it makes me feel "unique."
12. Do you ever count your steps when you walk?
If I ever learned to count, I might. Damn second grade education...
13. Have you ever peed in the woods?
I try to only pee in the woods. Even when I'm in the city. If I'm at work and I have to pee, I just drop whatever I'm doing and take off running towards the nearest wooded area, which in New York is sometimes quite a journey. I've lost a lot of jobs that way. Don't really know why.
Question 14 has been removed due to some adult content and on account of it being lame.
Being lame is cool...
15. Do you ever jump up and down to make your privates bounce?
Maybe being lame ISN'T so cool...
16. Farted on someone purposefully?
Only my Grandmother.
17. Do you chew your pens and pencils?
Only my friends pens and pencils. Then I replace them and when they notice I yell in their ear, "YOU'VE BEEN CHEWED!" Then I bite my upper lip and dance around them going, "Mmnn, Mmnn, Mmnn, Mmnn..."
18. Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?
I believe Playstation traded her to the Florida Mariners for Max Payne.
19. What's your favorite animal and why?
I like midgets quite a lot. Cause they're almost big people, but not quite...
20. Do you like popcorn from those big tins?
Ahhhh, those big tins always remind me of Topsy's at the Blue Ridge Mall and seeing "Eddie and the Cruisers II: Eddie Lives!" in the theatre there. And if my family wouldn't have abandonded me in that mall, I'd never have that experience to look back on. Thanks guys...
21. What's your 'song of the week'?
"Pieces of You" by Ashlee Simpson, because I'm really upset that it never got any airplay.
22. Is it ok for guys to wear pink?
As long as he's aware that you're dressing him in pink. I mean, don't blindfold him, tie his hands together, dress him, and then yell "Surprise! You're in pink!" ....actually, dressing him in Pink is probably the least of your worries at that point...
23. Do you still watch cartoons?
Hells yeah. "Adult Swim" Rocks Mr. Mateo's world.
24. What's your favorite scary movie?
One Night in Paris.
25. Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?
At the end of this survey, cause I doubt anyone will make it this far.
FA-FA-FA-FRESSSSHHHH
1. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
I don't have a room for a closet in the small cardboard box I live in on the streets in Time Square. But I do have a lovely view.
2. Do you ever steal the shampoos and soaps from hotel rooms?
No, I'd rather steal it from friends houses. They're usually bigger there.
3. Have you ever 'done it' in a hotel room before?
You mean like...."Done it, done it?" Done it, right...? Yeah, oh, yeah...all the time...Mmmm, Hmmm....wait, what are we talking about?
4. Have you ever stolen a street sign before?
Like "Stole it, stole it?" Stole it, right...? Yeah, oh, yeah....all the time...
5. Do you like to use post-it notes?
I used to write all my term papers and essays on them. When the assignment was to only write 500 pages, I turned in 5,000! Beat that smart kid in the front row! IN YOUR FACE!!!
6. Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?
I try to use the Dominos coupons at other establishments and pretend I don't speak english.
7. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a big swarm of bees?
Wow, with such great choices, how can one decide? I'd rather be attacked by a whore. A crazy demented whore. Cause then at least it would be kinda funny.
8. Don't you hate it when people have sex with their socks on?
No, what really bugs me is when people have sex with my girlfriend. THAT'S what bugs me!
9. Do you always smile for pictures?
I like to make a lot of random, odd faces in pictures, sometimes smile, and sometimes look like I'm about to poop.
10. What is your biggest pet peeve?
When I give the "poop face" and I actually poop. Hmm, maybe that's not a pet peeve, just embarrasing...
11. Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?
I usually tuck the sheets in my pants and then go to sleep. It's not comfortable in any way, but it makes me feel "unique."
12. Do you ever count your steps when you walk?
If I ever learned to count, I might. Damn second grade education...
13. Have you ever peed in the woods?
I try to only pee in the woods. Even when I'm in the city. If I'm at work and I have to pee, I just drop whatever I'm doing and take off running towards the nearest wooded area, which in New York is sometimes quite a journey. I've lost a lot of jobs that way. Don't really know why.
Question 14 has been removed due to some adult content and on account of it being lame.
Being lame is cool...
15. Do you ever jump up and down to make your privates bounce?
Maybe being lame ISN'T so cool...
16. Farted on someone purposefully?
Only my Grandmother.
17. Do you chew your pens and pencils?
Only my friends pens and pencils. Then I replace them and when they notice I yell in their ear, "YOU'VE BEEN CHEWED!" Then I bite my upper lip and dance around them going, "Mmnn, Mmnn, Mmnn, Mmnn..."
18. Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?
I believe Playstation traded her to the Florida Mariners for Max Payne.
19. What's your favorite animal and why?
I like midgets quite a lot. Cause they're almost big people, but not quite...
20. Do you like popcorn from those big tins?
Ahhhh, those big tins always remind me of Topsy's at the Blue Ridge Mall and seeing "Eddie and the Cruisers II: Eddie Lives!" in the theatre there. And if my family wouldn't have abandonded me in that mall, I'd never have that experience to look back on. Thanks guys...
21. What's your 'song of the week'?
"Pieces of You" by Ashlee Simpson, because I'm really upset that it never got any airplay.
22. Is it ok for guys to wear pink?
As long as he's aware that you're dressing him in pink. I mean, don't blindfold him, tie his hands together, dress him, and then yell "Surprise! You're in pink!" ....actually, dressing him in Pink is probably the least of your worries at that point...
23. Do you still watch cartoons?
Hells yeah. "Adult Swim" Rocks Mr. Mateo's world.
24. What's your favorite scary movie?
One Night in Paris.
25. Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?
At the end of this survey, cause I doubt anyone will make it this far.
FA-FA-FA-FRESSSSHHHH
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
♥