TOP 5 SMART ASS ANSWERS
> > >>> :
> > >>> Smart Ass Answer #5:
> > >>> A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate
> > >>> to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended
> > >>> her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat
> > >>> and flashed her. Without missing a beat....she said,
> > >>> "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."
> > >>>
> > >>> Smart Ass Answer #4:
> > >>>A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the
> > >>> grocery store, but she couldn't find one big enough
> > >>> for her family.She asked a stock boy, "Do these
> > >>> turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No
> > >>> ma'am, they're dead."
> > >>>
> > >>> Smart Ass Answer #3:
> > >>> The cop got out of his car and ! the kid who was stopped
> > >>> for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been
> > >>> waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid
> > >>> replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
> > >>> When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid
> > >>> on his way without a ticket.
> > >>>
> > >>>
> > >>> Smart Ass Answer #2:
> > >>> A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A
> > >>> sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before
> > >>> he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he
> > >>> gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for
> > >>> miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets
> > >>> out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his
> > >>> hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The
> > >>> truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge
> > >>> and ran out of gas."
> > >>>
> > >>>
> > >>> AND THE.........#1 SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR:
> > >>> A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's
> > >>> final exam "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses
> > >>> for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a
> > >>> nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or
> > >>> illness, or a death in your immediate family, but
> > >>> that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
> > >>> A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his
> > >>> hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said
> > >>> I was suffering from complete and utter sexual
> > >>> exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to laughter
> > >>> and snickering.
> > >>> When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly
> > >>> at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says,
> > >>> "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exa! m with your
> > >>> other hand "
> >
> > >>> :
> > >>> Smart Ass Answer #5:
> > >>> A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate
> > >>> to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended
> > >>> her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat
> > >>> and flashed her. Without missing a beat....she said,
> > >>> "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."
> > >>>
> > >>> Smart Ass Answer #4:
> > >>>A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the
> > >>> grocery store, but she couldn't find one big enough
> > >>> for her family.She asked a stock boy, "Do these
> > >>> turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No
> > >>> ma'am, they're dead."
> > >>>
> > >>> Smart Ass Answer #3:
> > >>> The cop got out of his car and ! the kid who was stopped
> > >>> for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been
> > >>> waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid
> > >>> replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
> > >>> When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid
> > >>> on his way without a ticket.
> > >>>
> > >>>
> > >>> Smart Ass Answer #2:
> > >>> A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A
> > >>> sign comes up that reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before
> > >>> he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he
> > >>> gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for
> > >>> miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets
> > >>> out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his
> > >>> hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The
> > >>> truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge
> > >>> and ran out of gas."
> > >>>
> > >>>
> > >>> AND THE.........#1 SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR:
> > >>> A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's
> > >>> final exam "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses
> > >>> for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a
> > >>> nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or
> > >>> illness, or a death in your immediate family, but
> > >>> that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
> > >>> A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his
> > >>> hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow I said
> > >>> I was suffering from complete and utter sexual
> > >>> exhaustion?" The entire class is reduced to laughter
> > >>> and snickering.
> > >>> When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly
> > >>> at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says,
> > >>> "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exa! m with your
> > >>> other hand "
> >
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
hrlyquinn:
LOL! The last one rocks!
mythicus:
good stuff.