If you HAPPEN to meet someone at a comedy show you're doing and she HAPPENS to mention in light conversation that she "doesn't get along with any of her relatives", it's probably a good idea NOT to take her back to your hotel room and have sex with her and her "BFF" and then give her your phone number so she has the ability to text you 550 times a day EVERY DAY expressing her regret for having sex with a guy who's "not interested in being her boyfriend" and then proceeds to blame you for everything bad that has ever happened to her including root canals, traffic, minorities, Verizon billing, being allergic to semen, coffee that keeps her awake, and the "bitch who does her eyebrows". I will miss my crazy woman virginity innocence...
kas:
wow. sorry bout that. I'm sure it SEEEMED like a good idea at the time 
as a girl who goes back to hotel rooms and then knows to never text or call you again after, I apologize for her. 
as a girl who goes back to hotel rooms and then knows to never text or call you again after, I apologize for her.