steve_huge

as my life continues to unfold... the happier i become about it...

i realise... and truly see for the first time, the plan laid out ahead of me... i know why im still here, in this place, this state of mind... all the mishaps, hold ups, un happiness, problems and delays over the past 5 years or so... all the synchronistic events of the last few months... all of that, has all brought me to this point

a point of understanding about myself...

any move i would have made before now would have been wrong and would have got me nowhere... and the chances are, it would have taken, me a hell of a lot longer to reach this point.... if at all...

i would most likely never have been truly happy...

i stand in far better stead to find what it is thats missing now.... the reason for this... there's nothing missing but myself...

thats what's gone...

me...

and finding "it" will be far easier, now that i know what "it" is... before now i would have wondered why things weren't making me happy.... you cant find what it is you're looking for to complete yourself, if you dont actually know what it is you're looking for...

i know now... i know whats missing, i know why i want to travel, i know why i havent done it before now, i know why work wasn't succeeding, i know why i always felt a real lack of contentment even though i had so much more than most and there was nothing really wrong, i know why i'm back at my parents house... i know

too much has bought me to this point for it to be a coincidence... and all though i dont understand all of the ins and outs just yet

still

i know...

and you know what

even though if you look at me now, things would appear worse for me than they have done for at least ten years...

it feels good... cause they needed to be this bad, to open my eyes and show me what i can see...

so that makes them far better than they have been in a long time... no matter what anyone else thinks...