steve_huge

i have to ask myself...

why the fuck do i bother... am i the only person who gives a flying fuck about anything

i am so sick and fucking tired of making any effort in any area, when it would seem i'm the only person giving a shit...

im tired... really tired... it seems the harder i try, the worse it makes things... and because i'm trying harder, the more tired i get and the more it effects me...

my hub of positivity didnt last long... you know why.... cause people take the fucking piss out of you when you try... and as much as i tell myself it wont get to me... unfortunately... no not unfortunately... stupidly, i hold out some hope for human nature, understanding, compassion... just a little consideration for anyone else but themselves at time... but most dont give it a second thought

i guess i'll learn the lesson one day.... as i don't know how much more i can take being let down... let down just doesnt seem to do it justice....

no i'm not mad... i'm just disappointed... remember that phrase as a kid... well this is a hundred times worse... and if you dont remember that phrase as a kid... then you're most likely one of the people i'm talking about... as you didnt give a fuck as kid, you're certainly not going to give a fuck now... after all life is all about you... the worse thing is... the people this little piece is about, are they type of people who think this sort of thing doesnt apply to them... and will be sitting there thinking "yeah he's right, fuckers..."

christ i wish i was a self centered, ignorant, arrogant, selfsh arse hole ... i'd be a lot happier right now if i was... as they dont seem to give a flying fuck and cruise through life with a smile on their face not giving a second thought to anyone but themselves...

maybe i'll try that...

worse thing is i've learnt you are what you are... if you're not "that", then you can't be "that"... if you are "that", you will always be "that"... whatever "that" may be

i guess i should just accept that some people are "that" and will always be "that" no matter what i expect from them...

judge man not by his words but by his actions...

thats todays pearl of wisdom... its one worth remembering... it may not leave you in the situation and find yourself feeling the way i do...

perhaps i should just get rid of msn, have a work e mail address that no one else has, and leave here for a while... that way everything will be face to face.... which will be an entirely different story then...