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stephykinns

somewere in IL

Member Since 2007

Followers 1 Following 10

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Sunday May 04, 2008

May 4, 2008
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in a complicated sort of mind set right now. i feel like i have cabin fever and just need to go. i feel like i need to do something have some sort of adventure. if i had the money for gas i would get in my car right now and leave everything behind and just drive. i think i would go to cali, always wanted to see what its all about.

but today has been my first sober day from everything well besides my lovely newports. and i feel like i dont know what to do with myself.
i found myself calling my friend to see if she has any shit just so i could be in a different mind set once again. i have been clean off dope for a month now its the longest i have ever gone. but tonight i really wanted it but not bad enough to pull out money i didnt have and go to my other friends. but really now that i think about it are there's people really my friends? i dont know anymore i mean the only time i hung out with them is when i was usuing. were like fellow parasites feeding off each other in a sick world.

ah i dont know what the hell is wrong with me today.


blackeyed
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
chazgasm:
stay strong and sober darling <3
May 4, 2008
ash:
Whats wrong is ... your brain is fuct up from having opiates effecting your brain for such a long time, and its reacting to NOT having any right now. This "crazy thinking" continues for some ppl for sometimes up to a yr (in VERY bad cases where the person was a HUGE addict for a LONG time, that is). Good news? Its normal, and it will pass. Try like holy hell to occupy your time as much as u can. Thankfully u have school and work to divide your time .. it sucks the most when you're bored, obviously.

I know you've been working and schooling your ass off, but call me anytime, woman! U know Im pretty much always around. wink
May 7, 2008

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