stenchblossom

hoo-fuckin-ray, my electricity is back on, and all i had to do was sell everything i own of value to accomplish this feat. nights by dwindling candlelight were growing stale, but now, two weeks later, i am once again basking in the glory of electric luminesence and mind numbing television. never have i been so eager to whach the simpsons and stay up past sunset. i should have three months more of light before they turn it off again for non-payment, three months with no reason to leave the house, three months to whach my skin get even pastier and pailer, three months to avoid the worst three months of the year, they being the ones that make-up the summer, the most loathesome of seasons. summer is a cocksucker. if it had a face it would be that of george w bush. swealtering, blistering torture is summer, if it were possable to fight summer i would, i would hit it with a pool cue and give it verbal abuse, i would write "wash me" in all of it's windows and buy it subscriptions to gay porn, i would spray talcum powder in it's vents and put nair into it's shampoo, i would eat cheeze-its, scrape the buildup from the back of my mouth and rub it in summer's hair, i would repeat everything it said endlessly, when it sent me to the store to buy it things i would "accidently" bring back low-fat products, if it wanted raspberry jam i would bring back grape jelly, or maybe orange marmelade, when i baked summer cookies i would use baking soda instead of baking powder, how i would torture summer if i could, to make up for these many years it has tortured me. death to summer! death to june, july and august! we will sacrafice them to the more plesant months like october or april. shit on the face of summer, force it to garggle day-after-drinking-diarreah. fuck off summer, you miserable quarter of the year, you 92 days of putrescent filth.