my friend kieth, he's a wonderful guy. he is homeless and hangs out in my neighborhood, talks a lot, but he is real sweet. today we talked about how i was wearing chucks, or, that is how he started the conversation. then he told me about how he smells bad (luckilly a have a poor sense of taiste and smell) and hasn't showered since he got out of prison.
"why were you in prison?" i ask. he doesn't answer, but asks if i could lend him twenty bucks. i say no, so he tells me why he was in jail. you see, keith used to like to walk up and down flatbush ave (the avenue where we were chatting) beating the shit out of people for their money. i know kieth can beat me up, and he has been known to carry a knife or gun from time to time, so the three dollars i had became his. now it is time for our hug, we embrace, i, clutching my wallet, and part ways. keith is the friendliest mugger i know. actually he is the only mugger i know, but there is this deaf guy who breaks into the apartment from time to time when he is shitfaced at 4 or 5 inthe morning to visit his deaf girlfriend who lives upstairs. she obviously can't hear the buzzer, so instead of going all the way up to her window from the fire escape he just enters random apartments, aparently he doesn't know where she is from the outside. the first time i saw him i was asleep on the couch when a rawckus woke me up. half asleep i was fairly startled to see a strange guy coming through my window, he looked at me, said "wah, wah, wah." then ran out the door. then five minutes later he did the same thing again, i don't know why he went back outside, or why his trial and error plan of windows brought him back through my window, again he ran out, saying "wah, wah, wah." my roommates and i contemplated calling the police, but decided it wasn't worth the pain in the ass, and instead laughed about the horrible fate that was probably being bestowed upon our neighbors.
"why were you in prison?" i ask. he doesn't answer, but asks if i could lend him twenty bucks. i say no, so he tells me why he was in jail. you see, keith used to like to walk up and down flatbush ave (the avenue where we were chatting) beating the shit out of people for their money. i know kieth can beat me up, and he has been known to carry a knife or gun from time to time, so the three dollars i had became his. now it is time for our hug, we embrace, i, clutching my wallet, and part ways. keith is the friendliest mugger i know. actually he is the only mugger i know, but there is this deaf guy who breaks into the apartment from time to time when he is shitfaced at 4 or 5 inthe morning to visit his deaf girlfriend who lives upstairs. she obviously can't hear the buzzer, so instead of going all the way up to her window from the fire escape he just enters random apartments, aparently he doesn't know where she is from the outside. the first time i saw him i was asleep on the couch when a rawckus woke me up. half asleep i was fairly startled to see a strange guy coming through my window, he looked at me, said "wah, wah, wah." then ran out the door. then five minutes later he did the same thing again, i don't know why he went back outside, or why his trial and error plan of windows brought him back through my window, again he ran out, saying "wah, wah, wah." my roommates and i contemplated calling the police, but decided it wasn't worth the pain in the ass, and instead laughed about the horrible fate that was probably being bestowed upon our neighbors.