stenchblossom

las vegas has more chapels than any other city, the site believed to be sodom is the fastest growing tourist spot in the world. if god existed (s)he'd be outraged. fortunately, god is not real, i have stumbled upon proof, while i was trying to sleep after drinking far too much coffee at a late hour. the bible is boring, if god were real this would not be the case. god must have created all the writers, and therefore all the books. if god were real, then he is responsable for shakespear and dostoevsky and twain and so forth. not only would he have written all the fantastic works that are out there, but he would also have an intimate knowledge of what people want to read. since the bible is boring, then, we can deduce that god is a mere phantom in the thoughts of great masses of people, or god is dead. it is possible that god wrote a fantastic book once, but now it is quite dated, he would do well to re-release it in a language that the people of today would find adequite, unfortunately in his dead state this is an impossibilty. he may also have just stopped caring, in which case everyone should stop caring about him as well, for they follow him with promisses of unconditional, never-ending love, which is not the case.
anyway, if god and heaven are real, we all get in, despite our various sins. everyone has a religious fanatic in their family, someone who would never sin. this person is getting into heaven. this person also wants to see their friends and family when they get there, that means you. a physical representation of you would not do, this person wants to see you, wants to make sure you're not in hell, wants to not be lied to by god about your whereabouts. since this family member has been granted everlasting happiness, all of their whims must be carried out, and so to heaven you go.