Thursday Apr 21, 2005

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It happens from time to time and it seems to be happening again. I don't know what spurs it or makes it grow in strength but I become filled with the urge to disconnect.

I feel like pushing my best friends away, screaming at them to stop the pain they cause my head. But they don't do anything to me, they're just there and that causes me to hurt.

I still laugh, I still aside myself for the sake of humor, but it feels more empty than anything else. When I'm alone as I am now, I feel fine. Humor is funny, life is not overly unpleasant. The only troubling thoughts are the ones concerning how I feel about the people around me. If I wasn't thinking about them I'd be all smiley and happy.

I don't know how it is that I can be told I think too much. It's not really something under specific control or easily referenced in the instruction manual.
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radiofrank:
There's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to walk away for a little while - lord knows I've done that often enough - but one can never live as an island. I've learned that the hard way.

Take your time, good sir, but don't stay away too long. smile
atticstar:
what is it about your friends that cause you pain?

i did ask one woman (i've discovered asking men for directions just gets you hit on..so now i ask hot girls, and if there aren't any, anyone female will dowink) and she had no idea what i was talking about because i couldn't remember the name of the store. i ended up calling someone to get them to go online to look up the shampoo and then the stores that sold it in toronto...then mapquest it and directed me down the street to it. it was utterly ridiculousbiggrin

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