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steadfast

Member Since 2007

Followers 340 Following 2656

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Friday Oct 09, 2009

Oct 8, 2009
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I have a secret to share with you guys

So I get out of work every night at 1 am and i take the bus home im usually off the bus by 130 or so and i have to walk up a hill of about 4 blocks to get to my house, I'm 26 years old and I live alone I used to have this girl who i was talking to who i want to be with but she is wrapped up in another relationship.. but anyway I walk up the hill with such hope that somebody will be in my house waiting to see me as I open the door (you don't understand i hype this up every night to the point where my stomach turns in knots) and I get to my door and I always look in the window before I open my door to check for surprises, then I open the door I'm full of anticipation and hope that somebody will be there waiting to greet me and hear all about my day and nobody is ever there and for some reason I do this to myself every single day and my heart sinks deep into my guts and I feel all alone and like a huge loser with such high hopes.. At this point i usually walk around my house just to double check and then I try and figure out what to do for the next few hours before i have to go to bed.

thanks for reading i feel a lot better sharing that even if nobody reads it I'm just tired of it eating me up all the time and maybe ill stop doing it to myself

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