stasiss_levine

hello all... well I amnaged to have my first desnt converstation with my mom today.
I told her that I couldnt keep dealing with her hitting my anymore. that her abuse is making me crazy.
I told her that I want her and my dad to work with echother and figure out there problems me being stuck in the middle and watching them go behind echothers back is eating me up inside.
I also managed to tell her that I had broken things of with the one man that I have been in love with in a really long time becasue I was too afraid to have him see how crazy I really am. It hurt me so bad, to do it. felt like i ripped my heart out. I know that he is a really good man and desirves the best of everything. I was hoping that I would at least be able to give that to him even if it was only onece... everyone dieserves to be loved completly at least onece in there lives.
I am still a bit tired from drinking myself into a stuper yesterday. I managed to twist my knee up really bad . trying to get away from my mom alst night . Am glad that we had a chance to talk and to have her understand that it has got to stop....
I have counsiling three times a week , group therapy tthee times a month, and I start greif therapy after the new year.
am hopeing that it will help .
I have been just crying for hours.. Just so sad. I cant belive they way things turn out sometimes but at least now there is a good chance for some change... huggs everyone will post my letter to santa tomarrow
~MaryAnne
"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."