starstealer

is it a bad thing i don't want to celebrate my birthday? i dunno. so far all that is happening is my tattoo and possible a peircing i haven't decided. eveyone i know is stupid.

normally under these circumstances i would cry, that's what girls like me do when we find out that we got used for a whole lotta sex. but not me, not nemore. instead i bought a bunch of really cute outfits and shoes. i also bought a bunch of make up and i have a hair appointment next weekend. i am gonna start this whole starting...
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aint nothin goin on but the rent? nah, try aint nothin goin on but the lv ballet slippers. $300! i want em though so time for a job. these are a few of my favorite things;
gwen
the killers new video
renting videos on-line
coffee
capris
and as always the stars burning in the sky

I really miss being a wife. that sux and i need to be more independent and learn that life isn't about taking care of other people.

life is so hard. i want something, someone, and i can't have them. they say to live is to want and i don't want to live. i hate being so melodramatic. i wrote a bunch of poems today. i think my new friday night ritual will be to take nice long bubble baths eating chocolate and reading poetry.

my old best friend use to say something i thought was really stupid. that a woman to a man is like an orange. they just take the inside and throw away the empty peel of you, i used to think that was really dumb. now i get it.

today i spent on the phone arguing intensely with trevor over nothing. it started out normal him asking me what my plans for my b-day were. i said nothing and it will plobably stay that way. someone how it all ended with him hanging up on me. neway life is shitty. i did splurge and finally bought some art supplies. i kind of didn't have...
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so today so far has been super fun and it is only half way over! i got both my guitars back, i watched last nights puffy amiyumi and then ate a whole basket of raspberries and watched amelie! i did have a nosebleed and a fight with my mom but we made up. ah, the simple things.

so besides kris i haven't given anyone else...
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*sigh*. getting ditched is never fun. and although it's harsh it let's you see something for what it is. don't you hate it when everyone is right? i guess i am just a dumb slut after all. but enough self pity. everytime something like that happens it makes you a little smarter. and now i am a little smarter than i was yesterday morning. on...
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i want more than anything in this world to go to nice and just lie by the beach and smoke. maybe read a good chapbook of surrealist erotic poetry. smoke french cigarettes and drink cosmo's. that's what i want. more than anything.