I feel like I am dying, oh wait i am. I've been really sick lately and everyone around me is all freaked out. I haven't told my "friends", i don't want them to know. I have to start putting my life in high gear. No more sitting around feeling sorry for myself. I want things to happen I want to see things and I have to do them now while I still can.
I haven't heard from trevor or adam. it really upsets me that i can't talk to him (trevor). as for adam, i dunno i thought we were friends but maybe he is noones friend. he's a cool enough guy but god that kid reminds me so much of myself it's creepy. yeah me and him are exactly the same. scary. i just want somebody to talk to. sam just sits around and talks about herself or a guy. either way you can't get a word in edgewise. i miss my NC friends and my friends in Reno. i even believe it or not miss Steph. I mean sure i see my reno friends more often then i see my nc friends but i still wish i could see them more often. why did i push everyone away?
so alright i was content when i came back from nc and sam had taken defining characteristics from me, but now it's pissing me off. watching cky? wanting to go to a HIM concert? and sure these days those are disgustingly trendy attributes that many posses but please. what's her motive? it can't be adam because i got the world famous "adam-brush-off" too. I mean he did the same thing to me as he did to her. except worst because we fucked. why did i do that? i wanted to, i REALLY wanted to and i thought he did too, but god i feel like a slut. i didn't even get a friendship out of it. i mean on one hand i feel like i don't care but on the other hand i feel like this worthless gutter slut. i mean at least with chris me and him were still homies. and trevor, well we were married. so this was my first and more than likely only one night stand. we fucked and now he will never call back.
I should get over it. I gotta focus on my plan though. DRAW, DRAW, DRAW. After the kids leave i am gonna grab my sketch book and head to Jerry's. i wish i had my stuff from NC that way i could skate to Jerry's instead of walking but oh well. i more than likely can't get my licensed because of my fucked up brain thing (GENETICS RULE! THANX GRANDMA!). My aunt becky's brain thing is starting to get to her and she is crazy. so young too, like 42 or something. grandma was like 60. i wonder if i'll end up like them? oh but yeah they said more than likely i can't get it because schwartz said she doesn't think my brain can handle it. but daddy and schwartz said a moped or something like that is cool because the speed is regulated and it requires less motor skills. i hate being deformed. my dad bought me a HIM back patch, isn't that cute? AFI's new cd comes out soon! i'm so excited! well i am hungry and have to poop. taco bell here i CUM!
I haven't heard from trevor or adam. it really upsets me that i can't talk to him (trevor). as for adam, i dunno i thought we were friends but maybe he is noones friend. he's a cool enough guy but god that kid reminds me so much of myself it's creepy. yeah me and him are exactly the same. scary. i just want somebody to talk to. sam just sits around and talks about herself or a guy. either way you can't get a word in edgewise. i miss my NC friends and my friends in Reno. i even believe it or not miss Steph. I mean sure i see my reno friends more often then i see my nc friends but i still wish i could see them more often. why did i push everyone away?
so alright i was content when i came back from nc and sam had taken defining characteristics from me, but now it's pissing me off. watching cky? wanting to go to a HIM concert? and sure these days those are disgustingly trendy attributes that many posses but please. what's her motive? it can't be adam because i got the world famous "adam-brush-off" too. I mean he did the same thing to me as he did to her. except worst because we fucked. why did i do that? i wanted to, i REALLY wanted to and i thought he did too, but god i feel like a slut. i didn't even get a friendship out of it. i mean on one hand i feel like i don't care but on the other hand i feel like this worthless gutter slut. i mean at least with chris me and him were still homies. and trevor, well we were married. so this was my first and more than likely only one night stand. we fucked and now he will never call back.
I should get over it. I gotta focus on my plan though. DRAW, DRAW, DRAW. After the kids leave i am gonna grab my sketch book and head to Jerry's. i wish i had my stuff from NC that way i could skate to Jerry's instead of walking but oh well. i more than likely can't get my licensed because of my fucked up brain thing (GENETICS RULE! THANX GRANDMA!). My aunt becky's brain thing is starting to get to her and she is crazy. so young too, like 42 or something. grandma was like 60. i wonder if i'll end up like them? oh but yeah they said more than likely i can't get it because schwartz said she doesn't think my brain can handle it. but daddy and schwartz said a moped or something like that is cool because the speed is regulated and it requires less motor skills. i hate being deformed. my dad bought me a HIM back patch, isn't that cute? AFI's new cd comes out soon! i'm so excited! well i am hungry and have to poop. taco bell here i CUM!