starsnflames

a lot of thinking, maybe too much, as usual, will i ever stop to complain about myself ever? i m now back at my parents place, great when you re my age, i feel so shameful that i didn t achieved anything! i don t own a car or a place and i don t even have a job, what a loser!! couldn t make it in sweden, and yet i still want go back there and try to live there!!! i guess i m really out of this world, i mean i have dreams and i don t think mife s worth living if you don t ry to foollow your dreams, but my problem is that maybe my dreams are beyond reality!! but all i want is so simple and yet so difficult to get! it sucks!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but i won t give up on my dreams, never!!!or what s the point living?
today i took my grandmother to the cemetary so we could clean my grandfather's grave: it s been ten years since he died, and i still feel like it was yesterday, had to keep my sunglasses on while there so i wouldn t show tears starting to gather in my eyes to my grandma!! anyway, as she told me, it s very sad but it s part of life, and life must go on!! she right, but truth is death fucking hurts!!
i m glad i have friends on here who take time to leave comments, it s really cool, i haven t updated much recently due to a weird situation of me living here and there in sweden, but i really appreciate every message or comment, i also want to say and hope nobody will get offended, it s not the point, i don t mean to offend anyone by this but if you feel like leaving comments relating to this entry, don t do it out of pity , do it cos you care!! but i already know that you all care about friends, otherwise you wouldn t even take the time to check me and write, oh it s all getting so confused here, i don t know anymore where i was going with all that!! thanks to everyone, and i promise i ll have something more joyful to write here soon, love to everyone!!!!!!!!