I'm having a really shitty day and a ton of stuff is bothering me and i dont know what to do about any of it 
first, i woke up and just felt totally useless and everything seems pointless. I want to lose weight but the exercise i do doesn't seem to do anything. The treadmill i have was given to me and its not the best.. it doesn't calculate stuff right and i can only do about 20 min or so daily. The belt is starting to wear and i can't keep up with that shit, money wise and its old anyway 1996! So, i think im going to just get rid of it. It's kinda lame. But i don't know HOW to lose weight!!!!!!! Im vegan and i eat healthy but still can't lose the weight. I have a lot of issues emotionally and i fully believe i gained weight years ago due to emotional stress etc. Everything i do wears me way down... i feel like i am exhausted by everything i do. I'm always tired... just going up my 3 flights to my apartment wears me down, its ridiculous. I never used to be like this.
On top of that, i feel like a total loser lately, just that i dont do anything fun ever.. me and the boy never have fun together anymore. We watch stupid tv which i hate...and our relationship is messed up. i hate to say that cos we have a lot of good things but we don't connect like we used to.. we aren't even physical like we used to be, i don't understand it. Also i have sleeping problems so we dont sleep in the same bed, which is another thing that drives me crazy.. I feel like i am a total weirdo and i should be able to sleep with him but i just cannot. I have tried. I have been this way all my life though.
Everything in my apartment pisses me off today.. i hate the way everything looks.. what we don't have, what we do have, etc. I am just full on nuts i think. *sigh* Super anxiety today too.. i feel like extremely anxious.. had an anxiety/crying attack earlier.
I have also decided i dont want to focus on making art so much anymore. I pretty much hate my art..and that is the honest truth.
Man....
WHEN IS IT GOING TO GET BETTER?????
=(
first, i woke up and just felt totally useless and everything seems pointless. I want to lose weight but the exercise i do doesn't seem to do anything. The treadmill i have was given to me and its not the best.. it doesn't calculate stuff right and i can only do about 20 min or so daily. The belt is starting to wear and i can't keep up with that shit, money wise and its old anyway 1996! So, i think im going to just get rid of it. It's kinda lame. But i don't know HOW to lose weight!!!!!!! Im vegan and i eat healthy but still can't lose the weight. I have a lot of issues emotionally and i fully believe i gained weight years ago due to emotional stress etc. Everything i do wears me way down... i feel like i am exhausted by everything i do. I'm always tired... just going up my 3 flights to my apartment wears me down, its ridiculous. I never used to be like this.
On top of that, i feel like a total loser lately, just that i dont do anything fun ever.. me and the boy never have fun together anymore. We watch stupid tv which i hate...and our relationship is messed up. i hate to say that cos we have a lot of good things but we don't connect like we used to.. we aren't even physical like we used to be, i don't understand it.
Also i have sleeping problems so we dont sleep in the same bed, which is another thing that drives me crazy.. I feel like i am a total weirdo and i should be able to sleep with him but i just cannot. I have tried. I have been this way all my life though.Everything in my apartment pisses me off today.. i hate the way everything looks.. what we don't have, what we do have, etc. I am just full on nuts i think. *sigh* Super anxiety today too.. i feel like extremely anxious.. had an anxiety/crying attack earlier.
I have also decided i dont want to focus on making art so much anymore. I pretty much hate my art..and that is the honest truth.
Man....
WHEN IS IT GOING TO GET BETTER?????
=(
tovi:
Sorry you're having a rough time Lady. Weight loss can be really depressing, I've been there. A few years ago I was put on an antidepressant and gained 20 lbs in 3 months. It pretty much destroyed me for a bit, and loosing it was so hard. Hang in there!
debased_pixie:
Sounds shittie hun, I hope you feel better soon. *hugs*