starisea

It's so weird Stari..... alot of things you talk about I have been going through in some way too. Not exactly everything but very similar.
Hmmmmm.....how have I been dealing with it.....
Getting very, very real with myself.
In my work lately, I have been looking up how to set up contracts and invoices for my artist work. So, I decided I needed to set up contracts in my heart and in my head. A list of criteria that people or situations must meet before I let them in or take part or allow myself to give. It doesn't mean I shut off or back away, it just means I look at things more critically and set up a game plan before anything goes ahead. This allows me a plan of action before I get sucked into stupid things again or at least that is the idea. Once I started thinking that way, the old crap became easier to deal with because I was dealing with what was happening in the here and now. I hope that helps.

I feel similarly of late. Just one reason I said I might be leaving SG...
Except my situation is far more complex. And has to do with a certain someone I thought I could be friends with (and who was on my SG friends' list!).

Not really memories of what happened, more like hopes of a future that will likely never happen. And I find myself doing what Sisu said, getting very real with myself. I have to stop holding onto hope for something that simply doesn't matter - literally. It hasn't materlized. I doubt if it ever will. It sucks, but life goes on. That's the quote that was on my calendar for this month: "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on." Robert Frost

Good luck with your own transitional time. That's what I prefer to call events like these. They are simply periods of time in between phases. They are some of the most important parts of our lives, in my opinion. It is in these times we learn to find new personal strength, which we may doubt we even posess. Finding new things to do helps a lot. Speaking of which, I should get off this computer & do something constructive for myself.
Treat yourself well. That's the best thing you can do. Take it easy & don't be upset if this period takes longer or aches more than you think it should. Eventually you'll get to the anger part & then you'll start feeling like yourself again. Not the "old" self. We rarely go backwards in our continuing evolutions. We look back in reminiscence because we have changed. We miss who we used to be, not just the people or places we used to be surrounded by. Embrace the "new" you with open arms!! Make space for your next adventure.
*hugs*