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Tuesday Mar 23, 2004
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Saturday Mar 20, 2004
(me rocking. Yeah, I'm a dork.)
So I've heard.
Alright, so I haven't heard, it's just a guess.
Mind you, an uneducated guess. A conjecture if you will.
I'll just shutup now. ;P
I dunno. the other thing I do when I'm angey is cry. I hate being angry, and I'm mad at whomever for making me feel that way, and I'm mad at myself, and I just cry.
I dunno, I gotta get it out- even when it's yucky stuff, I gotta acknowlege it, or it starts to rot--
you know like in rage against the machine-
anger is a gift-
but becareful, fire is a gift too, in winter....
my sister and I both do the thing where your REALLY slow to actually loose your temper [mine takes much longer than hers] but then bang! f+ck you, and the horse you road in on, out comes the get-the-f+ck-out -of-my-way anger thing.
we grew up with my dad, who was the king of inapropriate, disproportionate, where the hell did that come from anger. [now he's in aa and on psych meds-- he's a heck of a lot happier]
so we have this shame of anger- fear of being like him thing.
anyway. unacknowleged anger I think turns into depression. and if your like me and prone to that, it can be a big problem.
I dunno. lalalalala.
I'm eating dried mangos and they are very happy making. I'm glad you like my live journal stuff- I can get very self conscious about stuff, but ya know sometimes ya just gotta own up and be.
It's been really good forme to write that stuff down as a way to think about it.
*big big hugs for stari*
take care, I hope you're well,
this too shall pass
and all ot that.
fnord.