stargirl17

the insurance company is out to get me - they're denying all my claims and i'm going to owe thousands. seriously. and my college is trying to kick me out, but i have an appointment with the dean tomorrow so we'll see about that. and if i have to go to community college, it's not that big of a deal. and i quit taking klonopin cold turkey and am going into withdrawl but besides the overwhelming insomnia don't feel too bd but it's supposed to get worse. but iwht all the meditating i've been doing i feel fine. not too stressed out. plus i took some kava kava last night which helped me get some sleep.

i'm at a tunring point in my life - i can feel it. if i continue to meditate everyday seriously than i think i can overcome and control my bipolar. it's only been four days but i already feel like a different person inside. and without the klonopin making me a zombie i feel so awake and alive - and i know the withdrawl is going to be hard but i can do it, i know that i can. an di'm not scared though i got a taste of how hellish it's going to be last night. but it's my body and my choice. i don't want benzos in my life naymore. i've been relying on them too long now and it's time for them to be gone for good. my foal is to lower the dosages on all my medications, too, once i learn to achieve deeper levels of mediatation. it really works - i swear. so despite the shit that's goign on, i'm not stressed out. alittle apprehensive, but sure that i can and will handle anything and everyhting that comes my way. i haven't felt this good in sooooo long. i htink everything happens for a reason, too. i've been suffering with bipolar for so many years but i think my suffering is going to end soon. i really think so. the withdrawl fromt he klonopin may not be fun, but i will get through it with time (it will take a few weeks for all the symptoms to go aways - possibly months - benzos are baaad). so, wish me luck!