stargirl17

so after a bad start to the morning (crying because i thought i was going to have to get rid of my cats) i managed to beat the creepying depression, get out of bed, mow both lawns, am now drinking a bottle of water feeling quite strong inside and out, ready to start my new fish oil regimine (it's supposed to fight bipolar when taken in high high dosages - i bough the capsules then bought the book on amazon to read and am going to discuss it with my psych. on thurs.) and am so glad brian came over after working the aearly early shift at UPS to help me get out of bed and clean the cat shit off of everything and take care fo the trash. i have not been up to taking care of the entire house by myself but with his tender care i feel like i can tackel some of it today - i already got the yard done and next it's laundry then the bathroom. brian got the ktichen pretty clean, the sweetie. he wiped away my tears and told me to get out of bed to fight it offf. so i did. all i needed was a push and i got it. so today is going to be productive. boring but productive.

i colored my hair a semi-permanant burgundy brown but you can barely tell. that's $6 something down the drain literally but at least it's a little different. change can be good. now i just have to figure out how i'm gonna pay for everything now that my bitch ass lloser ex-roomie won't return my calls and owes me for last months utilites - around $120 plus supplies she promised me and $70 she al;ready owed me. if i ever see her again in kc fists will be flying and i don't care if she's six inches taller and probably fifty lbs heavier i have anger on my side and a little bit o' craziness - bitch WILL go down.

bought my tickets, well mine and brian's one day passes to the wakarusa festival in lawrence, ks the other day for june 18th. my tattoo fund is draining fast, which is bad, bad, bad. but wakarusa's going to be a blast and i'm going to finally see wilco live and meet some BLers and some old friends (as well as some people i'd rather not see - but those people can lick my pussy - just not the jewelry - it's too expensive for them )

oh, i feel so good making a bad day into a productive, good one. it makes me feel like i have a little bit of control in my life, which i feel i have so little of lately. and i'm not losing my apprenticeship, which is starting for real, real soon, like the 20th of this month poissibly, but it's going to be very serious and very hardcore. and i still get the feeling that my boss doesn't like me too much so i can't figure out why he took me on, but i'm just going to do my best and do what i'm told. i'm really excited. a year from now, give or take a few months, i will be piercing people under his watchful eye. scary but soooo cool. take care everyone and leave me some happy thoughts.