starfior

Once again I'm up ass early in the morning with a severe pain my guts. I really wish the US government would just let me smoke pot. Every morning I wake up, take antacids, and sit at the computer until my intestines freak out and I end up in the bathroom. I'm sure none of you need to know that but it makes me cry. Full on tears down the face cry. And all it takes to keep it regulated is to smoke weed before and after dinner and then I'm good through the next day.

I can't even describe how bad this hurts. And since I've quit for a new job I've started dropping weight.

I've always been skinny, some (my doctor) would say chronically underweight. I'm 6'1" and I weighed 120-130lbs for almost 6 years of my life. When every other guy my height was hitting 160lbs, I was at 120 and stayed there. I tried working out to build mass-nothing. I tried upping my caloric intake and just made my guts ache because I was packing in so much food. I started smoking weed about 3-4 years ago and I've gotten up to 155lbs. Now that I'm off I'm dropping the weight just as fast.



That's what I looked like back in 2004 when I moved into the Fraternity house. Looking at that picture now I feel disgusted at how frail I look. 35lbs has made a huge difference in how I feel about myself and how I feel others view me. It was so funny to hear my family tell me how much healthier I looked when they had no idea I was smoking weed. My face filled in, my eyes stopped being so sunken, I smile more and not just because I'm high, I smile more because I feel healthier.

I guess this is just a rant to get it off my chest. It sucks is all and there's not a lot of irl people I can talk to about it.