stardust_

I'm OK - my uncle died on Queens day - he'd had cancer for 3 years, several operations with complication etc., but it never hit me how bad it was until it was over. In a few weeks after his last doctors appointment it was over, just like that. Amazing how cancer reduces a strong, loudmouth human being to nothing.
To top the event, the cremation would most likely be attended by my mom's side of the family that I hadn't seen for 10 years - the only contact we had was last year, when they called my mom a month after her father had died to tell her he'd been cremated a month before. Yup, that's my family. Very attentative.......
In the end, the grief was worse than anything - the most dreaded member of the family didn't turn up and when looking at my grandmother (tho I mostly refer to her as my mom's mother now), my aunt (of whom I am the spitting image) and niece, I felt nothing. Which was weird enough for me to realize - no hate, no grief, just.. nothing - and I cried as I said my last goodbye to my uncle walking past the coffin.

xx