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starcandy

Australia

Member Since 2004

Followers 21 Following 35

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Friday Sep 09, 2005

Sep 9, 2005
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I really wish that I had an outlet to vent. I'm not creative so I dont have a creative outlet or anything like that. Diary writing I cant stand and online journals well people read them that I dont want reading.
I have been a mess the last few days. I always though that if we ever broke up I would handle it okay because it would be what I wanted. I never expected him to break up with me. I'm not surprised he did though. If I was him I would have dumped me a long time ago. I'm a shitty girlfriend. I know I am you dont need to tell me that Im not. Trust me on that one. This whole thing is kinda scary. If going to be hard to get back into the playing field. Fuck I've been sleeping with the same guy for 4 years. I dont' even know how to pick up. I'm screwed...lol I shouldnt even be thinking that.
It's amazing how many guys come out of the wood work and tells you how cool and hot you are once you are single, its really sweet. I adore my school friends. All the guys in my class have given me lots of hugs and have invited me out to cheer me up. I appreciate it a lot.
I've been thinking about how I will feel when Andrew starts picking up randoms. Will I feel jealous? Sick? Not care? I guess time will only tell.
He came over today and dropped off my stuff. It was so heartbreaking; I spent so much time in tears. He said he loves me so much and that Im his bestest friend in the world and in 5 years time if Im single his going to marry me. I'm glad that he said this. At least I know he still cares.
It's going to be the little things that kill me. I'm going to miss calling him everyday when I get home from school, work, shopping etc. I'm going to miss the cutesy things we say to each other, the in jokes we have. I'm going to miss his awesome hugs.

It's time to experience life. I wonder what is instore. First stop...somewhere
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
spacey:
Scream. At the top of your lungs. I promise it helps. (Just don't do it at home!!!).

Rook mentioned skydiving. I've done it twice, and up for another if you wanna come! I swear, it's fucking AMAZING!!! Can't compare it to anything else.

xosmile
Sep 9, 2005
fearofdying:

oh sweetheart, *hugs* and more *hugs* in the hope that that will help even a little bit.

I agree with spacey

Scream. At the top of your lungs. I promise it helps. (Just don't do it at home!!!).



*hugs* vivica

Sep 9, 2005

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