starbelliedboy

Well, I'm back. I gotta say, for the most part, it was a really fun time. At first, I kinda felt out of place, like I was an outsider, but there were times when I really felt like part of the family. And then there were the constant reminders of her. Got me all maudlin and nostalgic and sometimes it was almost too much to take. Even now, I'm wondering...should I call her? Would it make a difference? Does she still love me? I know I should say the answer to all of those is a flat-out no... But god, I miss her. Now that Dani's gone, I got no other women to think about and it's not good. All I can remember is the good times, and yet all I can feel is the phantom pains of an amputated limb coupled with jealousy that she's happy and having fun with my friends. I should be there with her, and I wonder what would've happened if I hadn't offered up the option of us breaking up... I guess I thought I was doing her a favor, but really... What the fuck was I thinking? I might've known how I'd take it... Having a good, relaxing time did put me into a better place, and I feel like, at the least, I'm gonna survive.

I got an interview at Home Depot on Thursday. It's not much, but it's something. I hope I get it.

Tiff's mom wants to set me up with a girl at her work. I politely declined. Much as I like Tracie, I doubt she could set me up with a girl I'd like. Honestly, I don't think I have the qualities that draw in the ladies right now. I need to work a bit on myself, get my shit together. If I can get a decent job and get my head straight, maybe I'd have a shot at something that didn't leave me wanting to impale myself.