starbelliedboy

EDIT! I think I've figured out exactly what it is that has me all sorts of paranoid... This one month waiting period... It feels so artificial and, knowing what I do of this girl's history, it seems unnatural. I can't say for sure whether she's done the same with other people...but I don't think so. That last guy, I doubt a guy like that would put up with something like this. And I really don't want to ask, I don't even like to think about that guy, it really rips me apart. Anyway, it's not so much that I'm in a hurry to fuck her. I mean, I am chomping at the bit somewhat, but I can wait(ok, maybe a little over the clothes petting? c'mon, that's nothing!), it's more that I feel this waiting is just her putting off admitting that she doesn't want me to touch her because she just doesn't like me "that way". That she's only keeping me around because she's lonely, not because she likes me. I don't know how I'd deal with that if it happened to be the case. I don't even know if that would end it, honestly. At least, not right away. But certainly, after long enough time, kissing would just get too frustrating and I'd have to get out, and with the same lack of dignity at before.Well, I guess it's really best to put it out of my mind for the moment. Since the month is up on the 28th, we'll see what's up by New Year's..


Well, things seem pretty nice with Tiffy lately... She seems to be pretty into it, which is really nice. I've got the constant fear that I'm doing something wrong, though. I guess I really have no reason to think so(except for the occasional horribly insensitive comment, but I'm pretty sure that's just the way she works, she doesn't really mean it that way), and yet... Oh well. I have to assume that this is just my natural paranoia until she mentions something. But then, I know that's not the way she operates. Ah, the drama my neurotic mind conjures up...