starbelliedboy

Ugh, drivin' right through the SAD for a more situational, weather enhanced depression. With the Angie letdown, I've realized that the only decent girl who'd lay a finger on me at the moment is my best friend's girl. What a cosmic fucking joke. I need to contact the city paper for an internship, but first I should talk to my advisor. I've been putting off both of these things for a while now. I need to figure out how to get myself to do the things I need to do. Like get a new job. Really, that's the only thing I'm unhappy with that I really have any power to change. And yet I don't, because of my paralyzing fear of discomfort.

I've actually realized an old trend in myself. I tend to have this psychological need to get the fuck out of wherever I am and escape. I don't know, once a situation gets uncomfortable, I simply cannot hang in there. I need to see a therapist and have for years. But it's funny because I don't for the same reason I need to.