starbelliedboy

This is a busy month for me, socially. I've got stuff to do, and I've even got a girl to date. But then, I'm finding myself not too excited about it. She's kinda quiet. Not like, extremely, but she just doesn't seem to have the star quality that I crave. I mean, I know this is pretty much the dumbest thing ever, because I know I want the attention, and this could be just the venue for me to be the attention getter... But I don't know. It's not much of a challenge so far. This is how dating is supposed to be, and I find myself having trouble getting really jazzed about it. I don't know. We've talked, but I really feel like I know nothing important about her. I know the bare facts, but I don't know anything about her personality.

I mean... I know guys with boring girlfriends, and as much as I like staying home and just watching tv and such, I really want somebody exciting. I want controversy. I want danger. I want kinky sex! I want... I don't fucking know what I want. I figured just having somebody, anybody to be there with me would make this so much easier, but so far, all I can think about is how this is different. But then, I didn't know the last one right away. It took time for me to really fall in love. And I guess that's what I want. I want crazy, passionate, throw caution to the wind LOVE. I want what I lost.....