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star_suicide

a city i can't remember being abandon at birth does that to you *sigh*

Member Since 2005

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Sunday Jan 29, 2012

Jan 28, 2012
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This week i look around at everything and i realise how lucky i am . I was off track the last couple of weeks . I have been offtrack ever since the start of 2012 . It does happen to me from time to time . Forgot what was important lost my grove a little bit .Well within the past few days i got my grove back ! every one loses their grove . what is important is how we get it back and how long it takes us to get it back .

My grove is to live a certain way , to act a certain way and to see the world a certain way . I is difficult to explain but to simplify it , i focus on today and only when it is late in the day do i worry about tomorrow . I lost that perspective and i recently just got it back . Some times i need a traumatic experience to get my grove back and within the past few days i have so received it. For starters my sister is back in the psych ward . In a different hospital i was at .

Upon the day she was scheduled to be released she stated she did not feel safe or ready . So they are going to keep her a while longer . I don't know how long but she basically said , " i can't make decisions any more i need the state to make them for me . I can not visit her any more . It brings back too many bad memories . Luckily the hospital she is at is a million times better than the one i was at ! it is amazing how full of life some one can be and the next day they want to die . As i sit down at my computer i think of her sleeping in the psych ward . I realize how lucky i am ! The best part is i met a brother freemason who works there !

I saw his ring , i never wear mine . You are not authorized to wear any freemason symbols until you hold a certain rank . I hold that rank but i do not want any one to know. I know who i am and that is what is important. Another thing that helped me get my grove back is a long time friend of the family is in the hospital . For those who read my blog he was in the hospital for 11 weeks from circa august to circa december . Now he is back in . I realize how lucky i am to be here . On the plus note i watched the devil inside i loved it ! i recomend every one who has not watched it to watch it .

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