so i arrive home from work on my bike the outer day to find a man and two kids near the fence in my front yard. it all seamed harmless enough as i parked and took off my helmet . the man said hey man the kids just wanted to see your pig. well thats cool i think ,whats the harm, so i walk over to him and thats where i start to see what an evil mastermind this guy is. he takes a few steps towards me and introduces his self to me as ****** the new neighbor !!!!!!!! and the trap is sprung . in my mind i here----- duh dun duhnnn--- and a evil laf i may have even said SHIT , i for sure thought it. but now its too late so i say hi im mike and i shake his hand.
so i tell the kids the pigs name and let them pet her. it all goes kinda ok relay and for the first 60 to 65 seconds or so. i almost start to question my strict policy against talking to anyone who lives with in a mile from me unless of cores ther is the possibility of or the desire to have sex with them at any point in the futcher
untill ----- duh dun duhnnn---- it happens this guy whos name i dont even remember says my name like 100 times in under a miniut like some kinda auctioneer and whats worse he puts the word neighbor in front of it . now he is all like NEIGHBOR MIKE NEIGHBOR MIKE NEIGHBOR MIKE over and over ughhhh .
well finally i get out of his tractor beam by telling him the truth of all things, that i had just stopped home long enough to let the dogs go out and pee then im off to a wedding reception. he says like 75 times well NEIGHBOR MIKE you should come have a beer with me latter than. i say yeah for sure maybe some day and get the hell out of there.
now i make it a point to stay out a long time way way past where i wanted too just hoping he would be passed out drunk , and being as he was so near to that point when i left i felt safe cumming home well after midnight.
but then-----duh dun duhnnn----- as soon as i cut off my bike i here NEIGHBOR MIKE NEIGHBOR MIKE NEIGHBOR MIKE fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. so because im a people person i go over ther . and politely suck down a Luke warm bud light as if he just gave me the last one ever made and i act like sitting next to my own house is like the vacation it is for him , i may have even said or agreed that yes yes this is the life ,and that this is what it is all about fuuuuuuuuuuuck.
so after what seemed like forever i say ill be rite back , that was like 4 days ago .
well for the last 3 nights i cut my bike off down the road and coasted home, and today i ducked down in the car wile remi made sure the coast was clear before i got out ,and thats only because she refused to stop at the corner put me in the trunk and then back in close to the door before letting me out.
i get it im incredibly handsome ,relay relay good looking and a joy to be around but home is home its my place to unwind and now i have to move out
so i tell the kids the pigs name and let them pet her. it all goes kinda ok relay and for the first 60 to 65 seconds or so. i almost start to question my strict policy against talking to anyone who lives with in a mile from me unless of cores ther is the possibility of or the desire to have sex with them at any point in the futcher
untill ----- duh dun duhnnn---- it happens this guy whos name i dont even remember says my name like 100 times in under a miniut like some kinda auctioneer and whats worse he puts the word neighbor in front of it . now he is all like NEIGHBOR MIKE NEIGHBOR MIKE NEIGHBOR MIKE over and over ughhhh .
well finally i get out of his tractor beam by telling him the truth of all things, that i had just stopped home long enough to let the dogs go out and pee then im off to a wedding reception. he says like 75 times well NEIGHBOR MIKE you should come have a beer with me latter than. i say yeah for sure maybe some day and get the hell out of there.
now i make it a point to stay out a long time way way past where i wanted too just hoping he would be passed out drunk , and being as he was so near to that point when i left i felt safe cumming home well after midnight.
but then-----duh dun duhnnn----- as soon as i cut off my bike i here NEIGHBOR MIKE NEIGHBOR MIKE NEIGHBOR MIKE fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. so because im a people person i go over ther . and politely suck down a Luke warm bud light as if he just gave me the last one ever made and i act like sitting next to my own house is like the vacation it is for him , i may have even said or agreed that yes yes this is the life ,and that this is what it is all about fuuuuuuuuuuuck.
so after what seemed like forever i say ill be rite back , that was like 4 days ago .
well for the last 3 nights i cut my bike off down the road and coasted home, and today i ducked down in the car wile remi made sure the coast was clear before i got out ,and thats only because she refused to stop at the corner put me in the trunk and then back in close to the door before letting me out.
i get it im incredibly handsome ,relay relay good looking and a joy to be around but home is home its my place to unwind and now i have to move out
pax_:
Thank you! 
starfuck:
thanks! indeed is for a song, but of Nine inch nails hahaa stafuckers inc ahaha