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standingreserve

Cincinnati

Member Since 2004

Followers 5 Following 11

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Monday Jun 06, 2005

Jun 5, 2005
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How anyone can live in the suburbs is beyone me. There is absolutely nothing to do out here, nothing at all. Thats probably the worst thing about this internship, that and being 3000 miles away from my girlfriend. But I'm starting to like San Francisco and the Left Coast, with some exceptions:

1) Prices, who would think that a one bedroom sublet would be $800 a month? Thats more than I payed for a 2 bedroom apartment in Atlanta. And thats not the only thing thats expensive out here, you should see the prices on hookers!

2) Closing time at bars. I thought the 2:30 last call was bad in Atlanta, but its 1:30 here. I guess I could look through Jeff's prismatic fun glasses and say that if I work on East Coast time its really a closing time of 4:30, but that doesn't help.

3) I don't have cable. I love cable TV. I like to watch the same thing over and over on the Hitler Channel damnit. Its good TV. And as much as I like MASH and Cheers I hate watching them over fucking bunny ears. HOW DO THESE PEOPLE I RENT THIS OVERPRICED ROOM FROM LIVE WITHOUT CABLE TV????

4) Being 3 hours behind the East Coast. Now I really like PST, I still get shows at normal times here, and all the scheduled things I do are done on PST but talking to anyone on the East Coast is a real pain in the ass.

5) Hearing how cool it is to work at Maxis. Damnit, I WANTED to work at Maxis, but NOoooo. Janet Murray will pay for holding off on her recomendations till a month before the semester ended and making me work with the stupid Online Team at EA. DOWN WITH JANET!!

If these complaints are not addressed soon my the Left Coast Complaint Department (LCCD) I will be forced to take drastic actions against the LCCD. Mainly by forming the LCCD myself, leaving the LCCD for better things then suing the shit out of the LCCD.

Now some of you may be wondering, how the hell is the LCCD going to address these complaints? Well I have everything planed out:

1) Hookers should be government subsidized. This age old industry has been dominated by cheap Chinese and Euro Trash imports for too long. Bring back good old American Made hookers!

2) Bars should never close. Drunks are going to get drunk. It doesn't matter if they get drunk by 1:30 or 4:30. I guess the only thing going for 1:30 is that they get plenty of sleep before they go to their Silicon Valley jobs.

3) Bunny ears should be banned and Cable should be free for the masses. If you read Marx you can plainly see that he wanted Cable TV for everyone, thats what he was so pissed off about to begin with.

4) The middle of the country should be bulldozed. Then sunk into the ocean, followed by 10,000 tugboats pulling the East coast to the west coast.

5) Janet Murray should be punched. Then she should be forced to realize that she isn't a coder and never was. Then I should be given a job at Maxis. Pretty simple if you ask me.

Pretty simple if you ask me.

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