st_jimmy

=======================================
Step 1 admit that is over
Step 2 start my life over
Step 3 pick up a book a very close friend recomanded

=====================================
funny how you find the right music to help get you through the tuff times ...on my computer...OLD GREENDAY/ PUNK GOES ACUSTIC/SOCIAL D/AFI/but really lots and lots of OLD GRENNDAY
====================================
what can i say this has been one crazy ass time ....so much has happened and so much hasnt...i find my self alone in a home in a far off place..so many tears have been shed..so much time spent ...and here i find my self alone in my home and it hurts and it scares me all at the same time ...
feels like im loseing faith and hope in what my heart and soul belive and it is the most scarest thing to feel..one might say this is what it feels like when one lose there religon. i belive in love adn in fait adn that the world turns for these things ...but when things happen to chalenge these beliefs..and your not ready for them it can through your whole world in to a spen that you cant countrol...
i wont go in to the details of what has happend but its over adn that is something hard for me to take it really is ...for something that i feel so strong about to be over that kills...because in my mind love can take on anything...but thats not the case here ...i leave it to fait and to love and to the stars and time will only tell what will happen.. but my hand is still out ther for friendship. i was told today two thingslet it go if it comes back then its your and if it doesnt then it wasnt ment to be not in those words but i think you get the idea ...so i will do just that i will let go as hard as that is and leave it to the stars...
hard to belive it has come to this and had to end this way ....but the love is still there and i will never forget her and the times weve shared cause fo rher my life is for ever changed...wiether fait brings us back or not she will for ever be in my heart. i also find myself battaling my self i have to over come my fears and my worrys and my issues with trust... and i am trying to take back my sanity ...cause no man or woman should have to live a life of fear of being hurt like i have and i can no longer allow my self to live like this...there are things i must do and even this new road im on scares me..caus eon this journy i am alone in it no ex wife no friend (she knows who she is ) to hold my hand on this long and sometimes dark road...with high mountain tops and deep rivers this is mine alone to take ..and so it begins the journy ...one i think many man and woman have taken..its just now my turn..i have made it this far whats a little bit farther right ? time not worry about me and to slow down and to just be to be comfortable with who i see in the mirror...i need to be able to pick my self up and to say to my self that i can do this .....