THIS IS A TRANSCRIPT OF MY RESIGNATION LETTER FOR AN INTERNSHIP I HAD LAST SPRING, I JUST FOUND IT AGAIN ON MY EXTERNAL HARD DRIVE, I'M DELETING IT, THOUGHT IT MIGHT MAKE FOR A FUN READ, 
I'm sure the thought has crossed your mind as of late. Honestly, I am really more of an asshole then s.o.b., one my mom is actually a very nice person, and I happen to smell terrible and feel as though I am under a great deal of pressure. Ah, let me see if I can put it a less juvenile way. Uhm, I have had some seriously bad bouts with depression and reoccurring incidents of self loathing over the past 9 years. It stems from what I have been told to be a traumatic childhood experience. Really, I wish it was something a bit more unique and interesting, but really it's rather pedestrian and well tread. I owe you all apologies but, fail to see the uniqueness in putting them into an email. I cannot be your intern. That I can put into an email. It sucks because, had I been, or could currently be, in a state more common to those able to commit to a job. I would probably be on track to things I constantly doubt I will ever see. That is why I have decided to commit to being committed. OR at least see if I need to be. Listen I am a shitty person for ditching out on the internship, very stupid would work also. But I can't do it. If you want to circulate the rumor or fact that I am a delusional psycho or a plain ol' lazy bastard, feel free. Thats my reasoning. I can't change the way I make people feel. I can only change the actions that I have yet to do. With each future action and decision. Ok, it's all very annoying and long winded. I hope you can find some well adjusted interns in the future,
WOW, NEXT TIME MAYBE I'LL DO A REWRITE
I'm sure the thought has crossed your mind as of late. Honestly, I am really more of an asshole then s.o.b., one my mom is actually a very nice person, and I happen to smell terrible and feel as though I am under a great deal of pressure. Ah, let me see if I can put it a less juvenile way. Uhm, I have had some seriously bad bouts with depression and reoccurring incidents of self loathing over the past 9 years. It stems from what I have been told to be a traumatic childhood experience. Really, I wish it was something a bit more unique and interesting, but really it's rather pedestrian and well tread. I owe you all apologies but, fail to see the uniqueness in putting them into an email. I cannot be your intern. That I can put into an email. It sucks because, had I been, or could currently be, in a state more common to those able to commit to a job. I would probably be on track to things I constantly doubt I will ever see. That is why I have decided to commit to being committed. OR at least see if I need to be. Listen I am a shitty person for ditching out on the internship, very stupid would work also. But I can't do it. If you want to circulate the rumor or fact that I am a delusional psycho or a plain ol' lazy bastard, feel free. Thats my reasoning. I can't change the way I make people feel. I can only change the actions that I have yet to do. With each future action and decision. Ok, it's all very annoying and long winded. I hope you can find some well adjusted interns in the future,
WOW, NEXT TIME MAYBE I'LL DO A REWRITE
judas:
wow. self deprecate much?
toneski:
have you seen a set list? I wonder what time they will be playing tonight.