TOO FUNNY..........
My roommate yesterday found an ad on craigslist that said in big letters: Will clean your apartment or home in exchange you let me massage your feet.
My roommate being the comic he is responded with this.....
Ok my foot-fetished-friend, you drive a hard bargain but I kindly accept your Toe-Riffic offer!!
BUT - Before we decide to dance the foot-tango, let me first lay my cards on the table.
I live in a smelly 2 by myself in the NDG area. ALL my neighbors are foreigners so naturally the entire building reeks like curi & wet-diapers.
The only reason I'm bringing it up is cuz there is no elevator and the walk up to the 6th floor thru the staircase is revolting.
Besides that, I run a pretty tidy ship! So cleaning will be a breeze, the only real area that needs attention is the ferret closet. Let me further explainI inherited the beloved family ferret "Fabio" when my parents moved into their retirement home [fucking no pet's policy!!] So, I've been taking care of the little stink-prick for over a year now. At first I let him roam the domicile, but ever since he shit on my Teddy Rupskin doll he's been locked in a closet. Long story short - closet full of ferret shit.
Now before I let some total wack job touch my webbed feet we're gonna establish some ground rules - capiche?
Rule # 1 - No licking or toe-sucking: I mean it, no matter how bad the urge or temptation, you put them anywhere near your mouth I pull the plug on this thing and you go home disappointed.
Rule # 2 - Pecker stays in the pants at all times. No exceptions or bullshit excuses like, "He's gotta breathe". If you wanna cum in your pants, that's your own business as long as it doesn't leak out of your pant legs onto my newly cleaned floors. [Now I'm assuming you're a man, if you're an attractive women I will re-consider Rule #2.]
Rule # 3 - This stays between me and you. I swear to Fricking Gandhi, if this gets out or my buddy's found out about this shit I will personally hunt you down and punch you in the dick. I'd kick you there with my foot but I'm afraid you enjoy it.
Anxiously waiting for response,
Yours Truly,
Serge Lapatate
P.S: Fabio says, "HURRY!!"
Hahaha when i first read this i was pissing myself laughing.I hope you enjoyed it too.
Happy V-day to those who care and screw V-day to those who don't.haha.Cheers.
My roommate yesterday found an ad on craigslist that said in big letters: Will clean your apartment or home in exchange you let me massage your feet.
My roommate being the comic he is responded with this.....
Ok my foot-fetished-friend, you drive a hard bargain but I kindly accept your Toe-Riffic offer!!
BUT - Before we decide to dance the foot-tango, let me first lay my cards on the table.
I live in a smelly 2 by myself in the NDG area. ALL my neighbors are foreigners so naturally the entire building reeks like curi & wet-diapers.
The only reason I'm bringing it up is cuz there is no elevator and the walk up to the 6th floor thru the staircase is revolting.
Besides that, I run a pretty tidy ship! So cleaning will be a breeze, the only real area that needs attention is the ferret closet. Let me further explainI inherited the beloved family ferret "Fabio" when my parents moved into their retirement home [fucking no pet's policy!!] So, I've been taking care of the little stink-prick for over a year now. At first I let him roam the domicile, but ever since he shit on my Teddy Rupskin doll he's been locked in a closet. Long story short - closet full of ferret shit.
Now before I let some total wack job touch my webbed feet we're gonna establish some ground rules - capiche?
Rule # 1 - No licking or toe-sucking: I mean it, no matter how bad the urge or temptation, you put them anywhere near your mouth I pull the plug on this thing and you go home disappointed.
Rule # 2 - Pecker stays in the pants at all times. No exceptions or bullshit excuses like, "He's gotta breathe". If you wanna cum in your pants, that's your own business as long as it doesn't leak out of your pant legs onto my newly cleaned floors. [Now I'm assuming you're a man, if you're an attractive women I will re-consider Rule #2.]
Rule # 3 - This stays between me and you. I swear to Fricking Gandhi, if this gets out or my buddy's found out about this shit I will personally hunt you down and punch you in the dick. I'd kick you there with my foot but I'm afraid you enjoy it.
Anxiously waiting for response,
Yours Truly,
Serge Lapatate
P.S: Fabio says, "HURRY!!"
Hahaha when i first read this i was pissing myself laughing.I hope you enjoyed it too.
Happy V-day to those who care and screw V-day to those who don't.haha.Cheers.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
First off, no WAY is the foot fetish freak touching me.
Ugh! NO WAY!
Second, POOR TEEDY RUMPSKIN! I'd lock Fabio up too! I used to have Teddy, but I slammed him in a door by accident. I miss him.
Good luck with the foot thing!