I have officially decided that there are three distinct types of automobiles that need to be immediately banned from the roads. Mind you, I dislike all types of cars. Everything from big-pimpin' buicks to beaner honda civics that sound like goddammed lawnmowers. But I can cope with these. Instead, lets ban these cars for the betterment of all society:
- Big ass hickmobile trucks. WHEN did it suddenly become cool to own a 35 year-old rustheap that explodes into a cloud of smoke at every stoplight. For that matter, brand new bigass trucks are equally annoying. Hint: if your truck bed is completely unscratched, or if your truck has a diesel engine, or if it has more than 4 wheels, you deserve to be shot. No exceptions.
- Giant SUV's which have been gangsta-ized. Seriously, wtf. For that matter, this category could also include any car whose sound system exceeds the price of the actual vehicle. In both cases, these people will go cruising, with shitty rap music blasting out as loud as the speakers will take it, not unlike the incessant calls of locusts trying to attract a mate. However, unlike the natural beauty of a locust or a cricket, these dateless wonders generally have the music turned up so loud that it rattles all plastic parts of the vehicle, making loud farting noises in steady rhythm.
- Motorcycles. All of 'em. Ok, I guess these aren't technically "cars", but nonetheless, I encourage everyone to tip over the next bike they see in a parking lot. My aggravation with bikes is similar to the second category. In my opinion, you shouldn't be allowed to drive anything that makes more noise than your own vocal capacity. Not to say people should drive around screaming at the top of their lungs, but I don't think that I should hear ringing in my ears every time I pass a fucking bike on the highway.
So yeah, my little rant is done. Namely, my bitching is because it seems that these three types of cars compose roughly 50% of all vehicles in my fair town. For gods sake, people...it's just a damn car! No need to make it loud or annoying or otherwise stupid. Your cooperation is appreciated. -nod-
- Big ass hickmobile trucks. WHEN did it suddenly become cool to own a 35 year-old rustheap that explodes into a cloud of smoke at every stoplight. For that matter, brand new bigass trucks are equally annoying. Hint: if your truck bed is completely unscratched, or if your truck has a diesel engine, or if it has more than 4 wheels, you deserve to be shot. No exceptions.
- Giant SUV's which have been gangsta-ized. Seriously, wtf. For that matter, this category could also include any car whose sound system exceeds the price of the actual vehicle. In both cases, these people will go cruising, with shitty rap music blasting out as loud as the speakers will take it, not unlike the incessant calls of locusts trying to attract a mate. However, unlike the natural beauty of a locust or a cricket, these dateless wonders generally have the music turned up so loud that it rattles all plastic parts of the vehicle, making loud farting noises in steady rhythm.
- Motorcycles. All of 'em. Ok, I guess these aren't technically "cars", but nonetheless, I encourage everyone to tip over the next bike they see in a parking lot. My aggravation with bikes is similar to the second category. In my opinion, you shouldn't be allowed to drive anything that makes more noise than your own vocal capacity. Not to say people should drive around screaming at the top of their lungs, but I don't think that I should hear ringing in my ears every time I pass a fucking bike on the highway.
So yeah, my little rant is done. Namely, my bitching is because it seems that these three types of cars compose roughly 50% of all vehicles in my fair town. For gods sake, people...it's just a damn car! No need to make it loud or annoying or otherwise stupid. Your cooperation is appreciated. -nod-
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
-*nod* i like my music loud, but c'mon. there's no need for it to be THAT loud.
-i agree with this for those god damn hogs, but there are bikes out there that are decently quiet. these i can deal with. small, gas friendly transportation can be a good thing.