spyder13

I was recently emailed by a woman whom I had an affair with. It was her affair not mine as I was single and she was liviing with a guy. I had no idea for months since we were basically friends with benefits 2-3 times a week. Long story short... After about 8 months she tried to kill herself for the mess she found herself in; not once, not twice, but 3 times. She is now back in DC with her mother missing a left ankle and foot. She is fortunately doing better, but still troubled somewhat. She emails that she misses me; she emails that the sex was the best and recent encounters are leaving her unsatisfied; she emails me and I am confused at how she is in a better place than I despite all that happened. It has been nearly 2 years since I was last "with" her and that was my last time. I am not messed up over her; I am messed up over me. What I don't understand is that I am not messed up so how did I end up here?