BLARGH 
...that's all I can use to sum up this day..August 13th..
I am now 26...whoopity-freakin'-do! Hmm..wonder if anyone will notice...Another year older..another step closer to..umm..I'd like to say wisdom..but senility's probably more likely. Gods..I don't ever wanna end up senile and mentally "not there"...someone shoot me if I ever lose my mind to old age...please!
Let's see..26 years old now..what do I have to show for it...hmm...so far - a short list of relationships that have all BOMBED for one reason or another...a small gathering of 'friends' that more then likely "tolerate" me at best because they're too polite (or feeling sorry for me) to just tell me they can't stand me...no job...I'm wandering aimlessly down my path in life it seems (or walking in circles more likely, coming back time and time again to my past failures)...so I am fucking miserable, my apathy is beginning to overwhelm me, and I'm going nowhere fast.
I think I'm becoming a recluse and my lack of REAL social skills makes it so while I can easily exist on the periphery of my current social circles, I never seem to be PART of the groups I hang out with.
And now I'm just rambling and 'whining'..so I'm gonna just read a bit until I fall asleep..then when I wake up..who knows what I'll do for my birthday...anyone have any suggestions? I'm thinking of digging into my limited finances and maybe going to NYC for the day and just wandering around..either that or just wandering around down here in DE somewhere...
G'night...for anyone that reads this..sorry my first entry isn't the greatest..I'll try to drag myself out of this funk somehow and try to be more upbeat in future corrospondences.
...that's all I can use to sum up this day..August 13th..
I am now 26...whoopity-freakin'-do! Hmm..wonder if anyone will notice...Another year older..another step closer to..umm..I'd like to say wisdom..but senility's probably more likely. Gods..I don't ever wanna end up senile and mentally "not there"...someone shoot me if I ever lose my mind to old age...please!
Let's see..26 years old now..what do I have to show for it...hmm...so far - a short list of relationships that have all BOMBED for one reason or another...a small gathering of 'friends' that more then likely "tolerate" me at best because they're too polite (or feeling sorry for me) to just tell me they can't stand me...no job...I'm wandering aimlessly down my path in life it seems (or walking in circles more likely, coming back time and time again to my past failures)...so I am fucking miserable, my apathy is beginning to overwhelm me, and I'm going nowhere fast.
I think I'm becoming a recluse and my lack of REAL social skills makes it so while I can easily exist on the periphery of my current social circles, I never seem to be PART of the groups I hang out with.
And now I'm just rambling and 'whining'..so I'm gonna just read a bit until I fall asleep..then when I wake up..who knows what I'll do for my birthday...anyone have any suggestions? I'm thinking of digging into my limited finances and maybe going to NYC for the day and just wandering around..either that or just wandering around down here in DE somewhere...
G'night...for anyone that reads this..sorry my first entry isn't the greatest..I'll try to drag myself out of this funk somehow and try to be more upbeat in future corrospondences.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
hrlyquinn:
hey there
natashanasty:
Don't become a recluse...I tried it and it sucks...especially after you come out of it and find out that you lost all your friends because of being isolated for so long......I'll hang out with you 