im sorry im fucked up right now, not a good time to be near a computer. i dont mean fucked up drunk or nothing i mean i cant tell what way is up or down or any direction for that matter. im so tired of being shit on, ya know. i have spent alot of my life trying to do what i though was right.i have boken my back and taken the lashing others have deserved for people that abandon me. it feels like every one i thought cared died and i am left staring in a mirror.i feel more alone now than any point i ever had in my life. all i have done and this i have become. i have see and done things not maney people can understand. i have lived in so maney places the faces and names all blur together like colour on a canvus. i dont know who i am. i dont like what i have become. there was a time when i stood for something but i put so much of my self in to so little on my journey that some where along the way i diddnt have any left to give and i diddnt realize that i was empty. there wer people along the way that cared but i let them go for there was a poison in me that i would not let go. i guess in the end i have no one for to blame but ,y self for this way i am feeling. why should i be a mess for some one to clean up. that is why i am the way i am. i just want some one to love me as much as i love them,... i am sorry to the people i have hurt. truly.
