Since my baby Nirvana passed away on Halloween I've wondered if animals have souls or spirits. If you believe in reincarnation this is a no given, but the cut and dry of my religion does not say it exists. I however and not cut and dry in any way. I have my own thoughts and beliefs. I truly believe that 1) animals have souls and 2) reincarnation has be possible. Maybe if you didn't do your first life right you get another chance.

I've recently moved out of a haunted house and know what it's like to be watched and having a 'presence' in the room or house with you. I personally didn't see anything there but I definitely heard things and felt them. You can tell when it's good and when it was not. Needless to say a spirit that had been at that house (one of three) was not good and we moved leaving it all behind.

The day after my dog had passed I went downstairs to give my cats fresh water. An odd feeling came over me that I was not alone. I easily dismissed it because one I was high and two its a basement and three I was home alone with the exception of my two cats. The next day my roommate brought it to my attention that she believed that Nirvana was still with us. She'd experienced the same thing in the basement and throughout the house, except Shea not only felt the presence but saw a shadow. That's when two and two clicked. We've been getting these feelings nonstop since Nirvana had passed. We feel them just sitting on the couch, when we're in the bathroom or kitchen. When I open my bedroom I instantly feel as though Nirvana is running passed me to jump on my bed and claim her property.

You get this almost tingly somewhat cool feeling and you can't help but look at the ground. Of course we're wishing she were there but the feeling comes when our minds aren't on her. She's with us all of the time. I have yet to hear her or see her but I feel her nonstop throughout the house. I came home from work yesterday and as I opened the door instantly that feeling was there as if she had greeted me at the door.

This all would make sense because a spirit comes about when they feel as though they have unfinished business or die tragically/unexpectedly. Nirvana was ran over in front of me, eye contact the entire time. I know she knows that we love her, we were all she had. I know I gave her a good life. It just sucks to know she's still here and I cant see her or feel her. That there's no way I can bring her back and keep her safe.

I'd give anything to have my baby back. She was my world as we were hers. When I say anything I would do anything within my power. Everyday I ask God why he had to take her, why now. She was an innocent soul and didn't deserve this fate. Why did she have to die? Why couldn't she have just broken a few bones or even lost a limb? We would have loved her all the same, she was our magical unicorn. Nirvana opened our eyes that Pit Bulls aren't bad dogs, in fact they're the best dogs to have. They're so loving and not to mention big babies. All they want to do is shower you in kisses and lay in your lap.

We've all decided that from this point on we will always own a pit bull. In fact we're more than positive that we're going to foster pits throughout our lives as well. It's the best way we can pay Nirvana back for showing us such unconditional love and happiness.

Sorry for the depressing blogs it's just how I'm feeling lately. Life really has a habit of seeing how many times it can knock me off my feet, to see if I'll get back up or stay in a hole. It's been a very trying year to say the least, losing a total of four pets, a couple accidents and breakdowns. My dad being in jail for something that's a downright lie. If you couldn't tell already I'm quite the pessimist. Though I am trying to change that.

I'm alive and that's a start, right?

xo,

Vay.