spike2201

As most of you are aware, i'm not one really for blogging, it's an alien concept to me as i usually don't have or can't find the words...
I've been real fortunate of late to experience and share time/life with an amazing person that makes even the simplest of things a real treasure to behold. I feel we have accomplished quite a lot in the short time we've been together and i know damn sure there are a lot more challenges and experiences to look forward to, this weekend being no exception.. and i can't wait for it myself.
I'm incredibly proud of all her hard work and know that she puts 100% in to doing so! sometimes with little merit, or actual notice, i'm sure i don't speak just for myself when i say that we do notice and very much appreciate it....
Secondly, i feel i must be a little honest and apologetic and say a few home truths about myself...
I am and can be a very jealous guy, this is on no reflection a fault of anybody else but myself, i may have reasons, but these do not justify anything.. and is in no way anybody elses fault but mine... i know my demons and the cause of them and am doing my damnest best to exorcise these monsters which potentially have the power to destroy anything good in this relationship and push people further away than i'd care for,
Secondly i am currently frustrated in my job, and am looking for a transfer out of there to somewhere nearer said girl...so we can at least try and build on a solid/proper relationship....
i have asked my shift manager for help and as such am relying on favours and ancient history to give me a chance... hopefully it'll work out but part of me feels that at some point i'm gonna have to make the decision to walk away from the job and look for something new, which is a prospect that completely terrifies me..... but also is an exciting prospect in itself....

Thanks for taking the time to read this
i felt it needed to be said