spidersandarrows

So far much has been going on with me here in San Francisco. I've never met so many different and amazing people all at once. Eventhough we hang out everday for long periods of time there seems to be such a great distance between me and anyone. Never in my life have I been in such a situation. There has always been my family and friends to support me. And for the past two years I had that special person to rely on. I can't/don't know how to rely on myself. I've admitted to being scared and admitted to hating parts of me. Knowing this hasn't helped. Someone pull me out. Give me your hand, I can't get up.

Smoking. My habit has gotten worse. The nicotine rush lightens my burden for just a while. I'm keeping weed out of my system for a while. Running away by being intoxicated just makes me feel like shit afterwards when i realize I have things to accomplish and classes to prepare for.

Money. The minimum wage here is 9.50 or so. I want a job. I need money for supplies and my habits.

Bullshit. I haven't been given my keys yet. There is some paper work that I must have before I officialy check in. I'm not on the meal plan either. My body and mind are taking their toll. I'm fading away. Feed me.

City. It's incredible here. So diverce. In time I'll grow to love it.

That's about it for now. I need to go and find a way to pay for supplies.

I'll put up pictures sometime between now and the end of the world. Take it easy and appreciate those around you more.

I"m a sad panda.

I need a hug really bad. I'm used to physical contact of anykind and i don't get it here. I"m cold.